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254 points Michelangelo11 | 89 comments | | HN request time: 2.155s | source | bottom
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naming_the_user ◴[] No.42056718[source]
What comes across from the article to me is the class barrier more than the gender one - basically it's a posh person finding out what the "real world" looks like.

Shop talk and banter are fairly universal. Any difference is going to be a target. Thin bloke who doesn't look strong enough? Ginger hair? Tall guy, short guy? Weird tattoo, etc. Definitely the one black guy or the one white guy is going to get shit. But is it malicious? Almost certainly not.

The other thing, which in my experience is relatively common worldwide, is that working class communities are more accepting of male-female dynamics. In academia and in highbrow society the tendency is to basically sanitise every social interaction. When you're in an environment where that isn't happening then you can't suddenly ignore it any more.

replies(20): >>42056746 #>>42056800 #>>42056807 #>>42056887 #>>42057157 #>>42057392 #>>42057456 #>>42058227 #>>42059471 #>>42063467 #>>42064057 #>>42064775 #>>42064864 #>>42065506 #>>42066833 #>>42067884 #>>42069349 #>>42070085 #>>42070433 #>>42071751 #
1. esperent ◴[] No.42057157[source]
> But is it malicious? Almost certainly not.

Honestly, it often will be malicious, or will quickly become malicious if you don't take it graciously. And why should you? It's not acceptable to make fun of people for being skinny, ginger, shy, black, white, female, or any other things that the in group considers non-standard for whatever weird reasons.

replies(12): >>42057300 #>>42057344 #>>42057355 #>>42057399 #>>42057444 #>>42057792 #>>42057943 #>>42063286 #>>42063571 #>>42064922 #>>42067327 #>>42067631 #
2. ◴[] No.42057300[source]
3. wyager ◴[] No.42057355[source]
If you have this attitude, you aren't cut out to work in the trades
replies(1): >>42066599 #
4. jdietrich ◴[] No.42057399[source]
Without wanting to indulge too much in macho tropes: A welding shop is inherently dangerous. If you spend long enough in one, you are going to get seriously injured at some point. You are going to be the first responder when someone else gets seriously injured. Surviving in that environment requires a certain level of toughness. I'm not defending bullying, but some places aren't supposed to be welcoming.
replies(6): >>42057432 #>>42065261 #>>42066388 #>>42066427 #>>42066531 #>>42066677 #
5. esperent ◴[] No.42057432[source]
I just looked it up. Welding is definitely not a safe profession, but it seems like severe injury rates is around 3.5 per hundred workers throughout a whole career. Definitely not "most". And about the same or slightly less than carpentry (4 per hundred), which from personal experience is a profession filled with decent and friendly people.
replies(3): >>42057601 #>>42057722 #>>42064902 #
6. Rinzler89 ◴[] No.42057444[source]
>It's not acceptable to make fun of people for being skinny, ginger, shy, black, white, female, or any other things that the in group considers non-standard for whatever weird reasons.

How about let people say and do whatever they want amongst themselves and stay out of their conversations.

Dudes in dangerous professions bond by calling each other slurs which is ok because they're all in on it, such that if you can't handle some bad words how are you gonna handle the real dangers of the profession where people need to know you have their backs, so you're either not cut out for the job.

You as an outsider from the nice people bubble don't have a say in this to lecture them since you're not in on it.

replies(3): >>42057800 #>>42063285 #>>42063668 #
7. lazide ◴[] No.42057601{3}[source]
There is no way that is correct. What data are you using? [https://www.bls.gov/iif/fatal-injuries-tables/fatal-occupati...]

BLS is combining solder/brazing with welding. And has no concept of industrial vs fab, etc.

replies(1): >>42063320 #
8. TylerE ◴[] No.42057722{3}[source]
It's not so much accidents as the lifetime occupational exposure. Metal fumes are nasty.
replies(1): >>42070886 #
9. tuatoru ◴[] No.42057792[source]
> if you don't take it graciously.

That is the point of the banter: to see how you handle stressful situations.

Women don't understand this, but nearly all men do.

Why? For every accident, there are around twenty near misses. For every near miss there are several situations that could have gone bad very quickly unless the person on the spot remains calm and acts rationally.

It is essential to know how you behave under stress in most blue collar work. They're not being assholes for fun; they're doing it to save lives.

replies(5): >>42057812 #>>42057817 #>>42066467 #>>42066631 #>>42069818 #
10. fzeroracer ◴[] No.42057800[source]
What does any of this have to do with what they said? There's a difference between an in-group privately calling each other whatever and said in-group directing it towards someone not part of said group.
replies(2): >>42057928 #>>42063370 #
11. nitwit005 ◴[] No.42057812[source]
The banter is not a cunning safety plan.
replies(2): >>42062691 #>>42064714 #
12. fzeroracer ◴[] No.42057817[source]
My mother and father were both fishermen. They would've shitcanned someone firing off slurs in the middle of a stressful situation, because if you're doing that then you're making a stressful situation worse.
13. ◴[] No.42057928{3}[source]
14. dyauspitr ◴[] No.42057943[source]
It’s strange but it’s a fine line. Being made fun of your physical attributes is pretty par for the course in most male groups and it paradoxically makes the place more comfortable to be in. Women just don’t get how this works. Obviously I’m talking about most places. Sometimes it’s just truly evil bullying because they genuinely hate you.
replies(2): >>42058237 #>>42063311 #
15. mplewis ◴[] No.42058237[source]
Women get how this works just fine. If you think it makes the group more comfortable to be in, you’re simply falling for the yoke of patriarchy.
replies(2): >>42058566 #>>42058624 #
16. dyauspitr ◴[] No.42058566{3}[source]
Then I suppose I like the patriarchy.
17. raxxorraxor ◴[] No.42058624{3}[source]
That is not true. The goal of banter isn't to belittle others seriously, it is often just used to break the ice or for some fun in between work. It is not about a group bullying another.

Many places that require nice language are far more toxic. Or perhaps any place with strict behavior and language rules is toxic, it often seems to be the case.

The parent said that women don't get it. I disagree, most of them working in such environments get it just like men. There are some exceptions for either gender.

replies(2): >>42059684 #>>42063379 #
18. scotty79 ◴[] No.42059684{4}[source]
Close people can joke like that. Joking like that before you become close is rough attempt at manufacturing closeness fast. If it works it works, if it doesn't it gets nasty.
19. notahacker ◴[] No.42062691{3}[source]
And even if it was and watching sport or going down the pub was in fact an extremely safety-conscious environment compared with the sterility and politeness of, say, the aerospace industry, it's not entirely clear how encouraging people to either escalate or laugh off would help them deal with actual danger which generally requires neither of the above...
replies(2): >>42063970 #>>42064090 #
20. Angostura ◴[] No.42063285[source]
> How about let people say and do whatever they want amongst themselves and stay out of their conversations.

Sounds like a great way of excluding people from the workforce.

replies(3): >>42063522 #>>42066372 #>>42070067 #
21. ◴[] No.42063286[source]
22. ◴[] No.42063311[source]
23. bumby ◴[] No.42063320{4}[source]
You are conflating serious injury with fatalities.
replies(1): >>42063781 #
24. ◴[] No.42063370{3}[source]
25. Angostura ◴[] No.42063379{4}[source]
The role of banter absolutely can be to belittle people -frequently it’s used as a tool for establishing a pecking order.

There’s nothing better for team cohesion than agreeing on the person you are going to bully

replies(1): >>42063835 #
26. linuxftw ◴[] No.42063522{3}[source]
Sounds like an opportunity for any of the wealthy left-leaning people to start a competitor and seize market share by hiring those traditional companies consider undesirable.
27. kardianos ◴[] No.42063571[source]
Why? Men make fun of themselves and each other all the time. It's how we talk. It honestly isn't negative; it's almost a form of banter that tells the truth in a low-key softball way where we can all laugh. Why is banter not acceptable? Who went and took the fun out of life? I'm not talking here about purposefully mean banter or taking things too far. But come on, who made these "rules" you speak of?
replies(5): >>42064567 #>>42064784 #>>42065009 #>>42066550 #>>42068179 #
28. EliRivers ◴[] No.42063668[source]
"how are you gonna handle the real dangers of the profession where people need to know you have their backs"

Some dickhead flinging racial slurs at me all day doesn't make me feel that they have my back. Quite the opposite, actually.

replies(1): >>42064084 #
29. lazide ◴[] No.42063781{5}[source]
That sheet is fatalities. It’s literally in the URL and at the top of the page. See column ‘Total fatal injuries’.
replies(2): >>42065381 #>>42065456 #
30. rightbyte ◴[] No.42063835{5}[source]
I am so glad that the betting culture all but dissapeared before I entered the workforce.

Hearing old stories of what people did make it seem like some sort of thug culture. I wonder what share of workplace 'accidents' was due to betting.

31. MisterTea ◴[] No.42063970{4}[source]
> sterility and politeness of, say, the aerospace industry,

I work in that industry and can say with confidence that statement is false.

replies(1): >>42067874 #
32. joemazerino ◴[] No.42064084{3}[source]
Have you ever attended a mandatory DEI meeting? The entire premise of that industry is to tell you which slurs are acceptable (ie: cisgender ) and which are not.
replies(1): >>42065277 #
33. embeng4096 ◴[] No.42064090{4}[source]
It's not about the social actions, it's the traits they represent. Are you quick-witted? Do you freeze or overreact and lash out, behave erratically? Do you stay calm? Can you think fast enough under pressure to choose to say and do things that result in laughter or de-escalation, or escalate in a way that shows you're communicating on the same level (i.e. tease back, but not overdo it and insult the other person)?

If I can't stay calm and think rapidly under mild social pressure without threat of bodily harm or lost lives, I personally wouldn't feel honest in telling my teammates, "yes, if you or I are in a situation with risk to life or limb, you should trust that I'll handle it appropriately and protect myself and/or you."

replies(3): >>42064508 #>>42066190 #>>42069361 #
34. nitwit005 ◴[] No.42064508{5}[source]
People have tried to study groups like Medal of Honor recipients, and found that they have a wide range of different backgrounds and personalities.

Our assumptions about who will succeed in the most difficult situations don't seem to hold up.

replies(1): >>42067066 #
35. mercutio2 ◴[] No.42064567[source]
I am a man. I don’t know who this “we” is you speak of. Sure as hell isn’t me or my friends.

Assholes exist everywhere, but “we” don’t have to apologize for them or make the workplace a safer space for them.

replies(1): >>42065294 #
36. ledauphin ◴[] No.42064714{3}[source]
i agree it's not cunning or a plan, but that doesn't exclude the possibility that this is an evolutionary/societal adaptation that _really works_.

Two things can be true at the same time: that this type of banter has undesirable consequences as well as desirable ones. This type of nuance is generally the sort of thing that's worth trying to understand before you try to 'fix' it.

37. wwweston ◴[] No.42064784[source]
You do understand "If I can't mock people, what joy is there left in the world?" could make you look like an asshole, right?

Just telling the truth in a low key softball way where we can all laugh, and of course you're laughing right along with me.

replies(2): >>42065337 #>>42066968 #
38. potato3732842 ◴[] No.42064902{3}[source]
There's a lot of potential for petty injuries that'll be a nuisance for weeks to months. Minor burns, slightly smashed fingers or hands, some real good cuts, etc. Not a lot of potential for serious injury though above the baseline of your environment (i.e. air conditioned shop vs muddy trench)
replies(1): >>42073026 #
39. cies ◴[] No.42064922[source]
> It's not acceptable to make fun of people

Is that not down to the culture? I found some of the warmest workplaces were also the places were everyone was constantly shitting on each other and not taking it too serious. I'd not say it was bullying, as everyone got a piece. There was a certain toughness to it, but at the same time everyone was caring deeply for one another.

replies(1): >>42065258 #
40. ◴[] No.42065009[source]
41. RHSeeger ◴[] No.42065258[source]
If the target of your joke isn't laughing (if they're upset by it), then it's not a joke, it's bullying. If they _are_ laughing/enjoying it, then it's playful banter. You're right, it very much varies by culture (culture here being as specific as "the specific group of people")
replies(2): >>42065579 #>>42066594 #
42. tikhonj ◴[] No.42065261[source]
Eh, the way to actually be safe—not just feel safe—is not to be macho and tough but to be uncompromisingly professional.
43. DFHippie ◴[] No.42065277{4}[source]
"Cisgender" is a slur the same way "male", "heterosexual", and "white" are (I am all three; four, including cisgender). In other words, it is not a slur.
replies(2): >>42069068 #>>42070077 #
44. bigstrat2003 ◴[] No.42065294{3}[source]
I'm a man, and literally every male friend I've ever had engages in this kind of banter. If you and your friends don't, you are outliers.
replies(1): >>42066425 #
45. RHSeeger ◴[] No.42065337{3}[source]
Fair, but trying to enforce "you're never allowed to mock people, even when those people expect enjoy it and it's all in good fun" also makes you an asshole. Different behaviors are appropriate for different groups. I have groups I swear in, and ones I avoid it in. Same thing.
replies(1): >>42069384 #
46. ◴[] No.42065381{6}[source]
47. bumby ◴[] No.42065456{6}[source]
Right. But the post you are refuting is talking about "serious injuries" not "fatalities".
replies(1): >>42065582 #
48. cies ◴[] No.42065579{3}[source]
In a culture where banter is accepted, sometimes someone will be upset by something.

I think the current tendency to prevent all possibility to upsetting behaviour is overshooting the mark.

Against bullying is a good movement.

Against all possibly upsetting remarks is basically being against banter and killing a part of what makes us human. I hope that free speech remains allowed and to some extend "uncancelable".

49. lazide ◴[] No.42065582{7}[source]
they were claiming numbers an order of magnitude less than fatalities.
replies(2): >>42065805 #>>42065835 #
50. ◴[] No.42065805{8}[source]
51. bumby ◴[] No.42065835{8}[source]
Per hundred workers. Your link is in absolute units of fatalities, their claim is a rate. At the very least, you need the number of workers (which is also available in BLS data) to refute their claim.

The data shows roughly 454k workers in the welders, solderers, and brazers occupation series. With their claim of 3.5 severe injuries per 100 worker-careers, that's about 16k severe injuries. If you assume an average career is about 25 years, that's about 636 severe injuries per year, compared to the 48 fatalities per year. So it's an order of magnitude higher (which I think is the direction most people would expect).

replies(1): >>42066214 #
52. dghlsakjg ◴[] No.42066190{5}[source]
Sorry, without some sort of data I’m refusing to believe that social adeptness has anything to do with ability to act in an emergency or other high pressure situation.

My own experience in tall ships and shipyards, where there are plenty of life and death decisions is not that.

There are people that I can fluster easily in a social situation that are perfectly calm and capable in high pressure dangerous situations. There are people that are practically insult comedians that I wouldn’t want driving a car in the same parking lot.

replies(2): >>42066991 #>>42067720 #
53. lazide ◴[] No.42066214{9}[source]
thanks for tracking that down! I stand corrected.
54. ◴[] No.42066372{3}[source]
55. brendoelfrendo ◴[] No.42066388[source]
What on earth? Yeah, if I work in a dangerous profession, I want my coworkers to be people I trust, not people who bully me because I stand out. Honestly, if it's a dangerous workplace, shouldn't we be looking out for each other instead of making casually sexist comments at the only woman in the shop?
56. brendoelfrendo ◴[] No.42066425{4}[source]
I like how you've defined yourself as the norm and not the GP, even though you're both calling from your personal experience with a sample size of one.
replies(1): >>42066551 #
57. mywittyname ◴[] No.42066427[source]
I worked construction for a few years after high school and the only injuries I received on the job was from bullying/hazing (minor, but still). Never mind the stupid shit they did that could have hurt someone, but luckily didn't.

People who work dangerous jobs can get pretty callous about it. I saw people doing dangerous shit constantly. And the people with permanent injuries end up using gallows humor to cope.

58. brendoelfrendo ◴[] No.42066467[source]
This is so bizarre. No, it's not. It's to shit on the new guy because he's new or different or whatever. You just made up a post-facto justification for bullying out of whole cloth and tried to make it sound like some social benefit.
59. mock-possum ◴[] No.42066531[source]
Why would the risk of either being injured or treating injury require you to be the target of bullying or a bully?

Wouldn’t it be in your best interest to be kind and supportive to one another in such a dangerous / difficult environment? That way everyone is happy and confident and focuses on the stresses of the job, not the stress of being bullied or being cajoled into bullying for the sake of conformity?

What you’re describing sounds like it really only appeals to a certain kind of person, and I don’t understand how that kind of person makes a better welder.

replies(1): >>42066875 #
60. mock-possum ◴[] No.42066550[source]
Speak for yourself. I don’t treat people I care about that way.
61. naming_the_user ◴[] No.42066551{5}[source]
It's fascinating for me to watch these comment threads blow up, I hadn't thought this would take off so much.

It's a constant stream of "but my guys don't do this" "but my guys do do this".

It's all just rephrasing of, well, this is the highbrow culture, and this is the working class culture, and I'm in one or the other and you're abnormal.

The reality is that it's just two different worlds and where they clash things get weird.

Looking at _so many_ responses to my post, almost none of which actually have new content, makes me think this is some sort of dead internet bots vs. bots contest.

replies(1): >>42066674 #
62. boogieknite ◴[] No.42066594{3}[source]
Spent a lot of time in hunting and fishing parties with near constant teasing and in those situations its usually the rudest and most egotistical jerk who doesnt laugh and enjoy. They cross the line repeatedly, everyone takes it in good nature while internally counting the incidents, then eventually someone takes them down a peg and they act like a child.
replies(1): >>42072349 #
63. mock-possum ◴[] No.42066599[source]
The trades need to change then. What you and others are so blithely defending in this thread is textbook toxic behavior.
replies(1): >>42068875 #
64. mock-possum ◴[] No.42066631[source]
Or, they’re doing it to blow off aforementioned stress.
65. mercutio2 ◴[] No.42066674{6}[source]
Only one side is making positive claims in this thread.

I never made a claim that "all men do X" or that "shop talk and banter are fairly universal". I did point out that I and my friends do not mock our friends and colleagues.

Still avoiding positive claims, but here are some normative claims:

  - I object to claiming that mocking is normal and acceptable in all groups of men
  - some, not all, working class subcultures use mocking as a shibboleth
  - this aspect of those subcultures is not a thing I think "we" should valorize
66. itishappy ◴[] No.42066677[source]
The main factor driving safety is experience. I suspect shop talk does indeed correlate, but I think it's a mistake to assume causation. Put differently, the number of angry words thrown around being a major contributing factor to an accident response strains belief. It's experience.
67. AlexandrB ◴[] No.42066875{3}[source]
On some level, you're describing a difference between traditional male bonding (joking and "razzing") and traditional female bonding (being kind and supportive). Both of these can be positive and both can be toxic - bullying is an obvious case, but just ask anyone who has been in a supposedly "supportive" environment filled with backstabbing and gossip how nice that is.

I don't know why there's a need to define either of these as inferior and wrong - isn't the point of diversity to allow people from different backgrounds to take different approaches?

To me, personally, the "kind, supportive" style often comes off as insincere. It's actually a barrier to me trusting someone. But I don't know, maybe that's just me.

68. pxc ◴[] No.42066968{3}[source]
Mockery can be cruel, and even gentle mocking can be irritating or even harmful if it's very repetitious. Mockery is not always appropriate, or even truly funny. Mocking others is not an especially important activity or an especially important form of humor.

Even so, categorical prohibitions of mockery (in society, in particular workplaces, whatever) are truly and obviously joyless propositions. Maybe they're warranted in some contexts! But to say 'there can be no mockery' is indeed inherently stifling.

69. ◴[] No.42066991{6}[source]
70. ◴[] No.42067066{6}[source]
71. DiggyJohnson ◴[] No.42067327[source]
> It's not acceptable to make fun of people for being skinny, ginger, shy, black, white, female, or any other things that the in group considers non-standard for whatever weird reasons

This probably seems obviously true to you but it should not. Some people think there's a reasonable amount of banter, sometimes at the expense of another acquaintance, before it becomes bullying or unacceptable in the workplace.

72. wruza ◴[] No.42067631[source]
It’s not just fun, but the least offensive way of establishing hierarchy, which is required to form a group, in men. They ask you who you are. A reference to some rule (e.g. what’s acceptable) is by definition a confrontation. A refusal to position yourself in a group, which is tested/offered by poking a person, makes you a questionable element in it. Yes, all this is mostly pointless in a modern life. But that’s how an average hunting-age male works.

The attributes and reasons do not matter in isolation. They will find where to poke even if you’re a twin of one of the group members. Red hair is just the obvious one to use.

The alternative is going to the office, filtering thoughts in your mouth and reporting slight misspeaks and inappropriately timed eye contacts to a special manager who then decides who’s higher in hierarchy according to some rules.

73. notahacker ◴[] No.42067720{6}[source]
Not to mention that people doing boring, safe jobs behave like that too. Trust me, when I have the banter with my friends in the pub, I'm really not evaluating whether I can rely on their accountancy or web design to save my life

What actually seems to be the common factor is male groups in informal settings

74. notahacker ◴[] No.42067874{5}[source]
Sterility and politeness is variable, but I also work in that industry and have yet to encounter a situation where the banter resembles that of a largely risk free but comparably male environment like, say a sports ground or pub lunch with friends I've known since we were kids.

Which is a good thing really, because I wouldn't want to think that people were actually determining fitness to be trusted with a soldering iron or embedded systems design based on their witty comebacks or tolerance for jokes about their wife.

75. ninalanyon ◴[] No.42068179[source]
Banter is wonderful when you are part of the in group, especially if you are the dominant player in that group. But it is often used by members of the in group to marginalise those outside and to maintain the dominance of the leading players in the in group.
76. wyager ◴[] No.42068875{3}[source]
What exactly is your plan to achieve this "needed" change?
replies(1): >>42073042 #
77. wizzwizz4 ◴[] No.42069068{5}[source]
Slur isn't an intrinsic property of a word: it's a property of how it's used. "Male" can be a slur, as can "heterosexual", or "management". In theory, "cisgender" can also be a slur, though I've never heard such a use. (You'll sometimes hear "cissy", but I've never heard that used against a specific person.)

You might argue that "punching up" is acceptable, or even that it's not slurring by definition (which I'd dispute), but membership of one "privileged class" doesn't automatically translate to actual privilege. (I think the feminists call this intersectionality.) In such a context, the labels of "privileged classes" absolutely can be used to punch down (e.g. saying "you're such a man" and slamming the door in the face of an impoverished gay transgender man trying to access domestic abuse services).

replies(1): >>42071259 #
78. howenterprisey ◴[] No.42069361{5}[source]
No, I don't think ability to banter has any relationship with ability to properly handle those risky situations. There's zero intrinsic reason why someone who freezes when insulted must also freeze if a bay crane lift starts going wrong, because to me they are clearly different kinds of stress.
79. howenterprisey ◴[] No.42069384{4}[source]
How do you know whether the people being mocked genuinely enjoy it or the culture requires them to appear like they enjoy it?
replies(1): >>42069920 #
80. UniverseHacker ◴[] No.42069818[source]
> Women don't understand this, but nearly all men do.

I completely agree with you about the purpose and value of banter- but do you actually know any women or interact with any on a regular basis?

It's simply not true- women banter with each other just as much as men do, and they especially banter with men they are interested in romantically- for the exact reason you mention - to see if they handle stressful situations well, which is a desirable (attractive) trait in a romantic partner.

I'll admit women tend to be more subtle with this then men- such that some people (especially the ones who are failing the test) will mistake it as complaining or arguing.

I enjoy it very much when my wife does this- I usually respond by turning it into some kind of joke, or turning it back on her in a way she doesn't expect, and I can see her light up with joy that I 'got it' and didn't respond with frustration/etc.

81. RHSeeger ◴[] No.42069920{5}[source]
The same way you know whether it's ok to talk about someone's family life, or politics, or anything else; you get to know them.
82. Rinzler89 ◴[] No.42070067{3}[source]
Great at excluding snowflakes which is what you want in those dangerous professions. If you get pissy that someone called you ginger, you're clearly not cut for any demanding and dangerous job. Better stay in your sanitized white collar safe space while you tweet how the world is mean.
replies(1): >>42071883 #
83. Baeocystin ◴[] No.42070886{4}[source]
I did a couple of years at the NASSCO shipyard in San Diego as a welder after the first .com crash.

The (literal) toxic work environment is why I left welding, even though I genuinely enjoyed the work. But I was already starting to see real changes in my health, even though I was super careful about respirator use, etc. What really sealed the deal was learning that my shift lead, who I thought was a good decade older than me, was actually a few years younger, but had just been welding longer, with the body damage to show for it.

replies(1): >>42071727 #
84. DFHippie ◴[] No.42071259{6}[source]
The usage of the word "slur" in question -- it has to be this if it's on a list one can learn from DEI consultants -- is

    a derogatory or insulting term applied to a particular group of people.
It is inherent in the term itself, not in its use.* So it isn't simply anything that can be understood as an insult. All the stuff about "punching up" and so forth is beside the point.

"cisgender" has a technical meaning which is still it's primary use: someone who identifies with the gender they were assigned at birth (so it can apply to intersex people as well). In this it is like "heterosexual" and "male". Arguably it is not like "white", in that who counts as white is malleable, but for the most part whatever it is, in most contexts, "white" is not a slur either.

* I am in fact a lapsed linguist. I have a PhD. My specialization was in semantics and pragmatics. Semantics is meaning encoded in language. Pragmatics is meaning inferred from use: "it's cold in here" meaning "shut the window", for example. I am aware that one can talk more precisely and at much, much greater length about all of this. But this is Hacker News, so this is all I am going to say.

85. TylerE ◴[] No.42071727{5}[source]
Yea, that’s one thing that really stood out to me when I did a 2 year mechanical engineering program - mostly training to be a cad jockey. Some of my teachers looked waaay older than they should have, and the welding instructor was the worst.

Now think of how many guys there are out there doing it with no repository protection and the good ‘ole safety squints.

86. Angostura ◴[] No.42071883{4}[source]
Check out professions by suicide rates https://www.registerednursing.org/articles/suicide-rates-pro...

Apparently a lot of construction, extraction installation, maintenance and repair folk have a very bad time of i. Perhaps if they could get decent support in the work place that wouldn't happen. Though I suppose you'd probably conclude it's just natural attrition as the snowflakes kill themselves.

87. cies ◴[] No.42072349{4}[source]
So you're saying constant teasing is a fun way to weed out the jerks. Sounds about what I experience it to be. Never thought of it like that though: thanks!

Would you say this is more typical in groups of men, or among the men within a group? (I'm thinking about social situations myself now as well)

88. lazyasciiart ◴[] No.42073026{4}[source]
Sounds like a kitchen.
89. lazyasciiart ◴[] No.42073042{4}[source]
Ooh, that’s a great shutdown, do you use it when someone brings up male suicide rates too?