←back to thread

254 points Michelangelo11 | 1 comments | | HN request time: 0.209s | source
Show context
naming_the_user ◴[] No.42056718[source]
What comes across from the article to me is the class barrier more than the gender one - basically it's a posh person finding out what the "real world" looks like.

Shop talk and banter are fairly universal. Any difference is going to be a target. Thin bloke who doesn't look strong enough? Ginger hair? Tall guy, short guy? Weird tattoo, etc. Definitely the one black guy or the one white guy is going to get shit. But is it malicious? Almost certainly not.

The other thing, which in my experience is relatively common worldwide, is that working class communities are more accepting of male-female dynamics. In academia and in highbrow society the tendency is to basically sanitise every social interaction. When you're in an environment where that isn't happening then you can't suddenly ignore it any more.

replies(20): >>42056746 #>>42056800 #>>42056807 #>>42056887 #>>42057157 #>>42057392 #>>42057456 #>>42058227 #>>42059471 #>>42063467 #>>42064057 #>>42064775 #>>42064864 #>>42065506 #>>42066833 #>>42067884 #>>42069349 #>>42070085 #>>42070433 #>>42071751 #
esperent ◴[] No.42057157[source]
> But is it malicious? Almost certainly not.

Honestly, it often will be malicious, or will quickly become malicious if you don't take it graciously. And why should you? It's not acceptable to make fun of people for being skinny, ginger, shy, black, white, female, or any other things that the in group considers non-standard for whatever weird reasons.

replies(12): >>42057300 #>>42057344 #>>42057355 #>>42057399 #>>42057444 #>>42057792 #>>42057943 #>>42063286 #>>42063571 #>>42064922 #>>42067327 #>>42067631 #
tuatoru ◴[] No.42057792[source]
> if you don't take it graciously.

That is the point of the banter: to see how you handle stressful situations.

Women don't understand this, but nearly all men do.

Why? For every accident, there are around twenty near misses. For every near miss there are several situations that could have gone bad very quickly unless the person on the spot remains calm and acts rationally.

It is essential to know how you behave under stress in most blue collar work. They're not being assholes for fun; they're doing it to save lives.

replies(5): >>42057812 #>>42057817 #>>42066467 #>>42066631 #>>42069818 #
1. UniverseHacker ◴[] No.42069818[source]
> Women don't understand this, but nearly all men do.

I completely agree with you about the purpose and value of banter- but do you actually know any women or interact with any on a regular basis?

It's simply not true- women banter with each other just as much as men do, and they especially banter with men they are interested in romantically- for the exact reason you mention - to see if they handle stressful situations well, which is a desirable (attractive) trait in a romantic partner.

I'll admit women tend to be more subtle with this then men- such that some people (especially the ones who are failing the test) will mistake it as complaining or arguing.

I enjoy it very much when my wife does this- I usually respond by turning it into some kind of joke, or turning it back on her in a way she doesn't expect, and I can see her light up with joy that I 'got it' and didn't respond with frustration/etc.