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    539 points drankl | 13 comments | | HN request time: 0.822s | source | bottom
    1. djoldman ◴[] No.44485725[source]
    The part that seems to be lost in all this is that there's really no purpose to learning/exploring/explaining unless it points to action.

    Knowing you have ADHD, childhood trauma, attachment issues, etc. is useless if that knowledge does not enable you to take action or if you don't intend to take action.

    Unless you just enjoy the learning for the learnings sake, seek to learn so as to plan and execute.

    replies(2): >>44485925 #>>44488890 #
    2. borski ◴[] No.44485925[source]
    > Knowing you have ADHD, childhood trauma, attachment issues, etc. is useless if that knowledge does not enable you to take action or if you don't intend to take action.

    That’s not actually true, and misses the point.

    Knowing you have ADHD, alone, helps you stop blaming yourself and hating yourself for those things that are caused by the ADHD. It doesn’t excuse it, but understanding that those things aren’t moral failures are a huge deal to those who actually struggle with ADHD.

    Moreover, most people with actual undiagnosed ADHD have spent their entire lifetime building coping mechanisms to manage it. Recognizing those does help build others in the future, even if just knowing changes nothing right then.

    replies(3): >>44486149 #>>44486173 #>>44488046 #
    3. Loughla ◴[] No.44486149[source]
    I understand what you're saying, but experience has taught me that many many many people use whatever the thing is (trauma, ADHD, whatever) as an excuse to act however they want whenever they want. It becomes a crutch, or a security blanket to let them just be okay with wallowing in the negativity and externalizing every problem.

    There has to be a happy medium. I have some neuro issues, and yet I understand that while I may not be able to control the issues themselves, only me is responsible for my own actions. That is lacking in many folks who share my diagnoses. We dropped the ball somewhere and I don't know where, to be honest.

    replies(2): >>44486175 #>>44486269 #
    4. automatoney ◴[] No.44486173[source]
    Your comment made me realize that maybe we're just going through the transition to a collectively better understanding of people. Right now we sort of have to pass through the clinical diagnosis/therapy terms in order to recognize something as not being a moral failure/making someone less valuable as a person. And then the next step we're building to is maybe like acceptance of people's differences without needing to make reference to diagnostic labels. Kind of like what's happened with queerness: past - fluid, undefined, marginalized; present - labels, understanding, less marginalization; future - moving beyond the need for labels in order for people to accept and understand.
    replies(1): >>44487267 #
    5. borski ◴[] No.44486175{3}[source]
    Some people find excuses anywhere they look. But we shouldn’t stigmatize those who don’t on behalf of those who do; the vast majority of people are not that way, which is why they stand out when they are, imho.

    And it is more important to not stigmatize talking about it at all than it is to optimize for some people not using it as an excuse.

    replies(1): >>44487242 #
    6. Mtinie ◴[] No.44486269{3}[source]
    Experience has taught me that your assertion is from a privileged position. Congratulations for being closer to the neuro-populous side of the spectrum. Your experiences can only represent your unique case.
    replies(1): >>44486694 #
    7. ycombinete ◴[] No.44486694{4}[source]
    Experience has taught me that accusing people of privilege, and being sarcastic does not make one more persuasive.
    8. nlitened ◴[] No.44487242{4}[source]
    No need to stigmatize people, but it is very important to stigmatize bad behavior
    replies(1): >>44487578 #
    9. nlitened ◴[] No.44487267{3}[source]
    If someone is overly aggressive, or rarely fulfills promises, or is very negative about things, or has a very fragile ego — it absolutely makes them less valuable as a person to others. Just look up any definitions of the word “valuable”
    replies(1): >>44487539 #
    10. evilsetg ◴[] No.44487539{4}[source]
    Thankfully, a lot of cultures also recognize inherent value in humans that does not derive from their usefulness.
    11. dqv ◴[] No.44487578{5}[source]
    The problem is that there are people who "stigmatize bad behavior" by stigmatizing other people.
    12. vladms ◴[] No.44488046[source]
    For me, having people consider "moral failures" aspects of their personality is the root of the problem. We should not have that except for the most horrible things (murder, etc.). Still, after living in a couple of different countries, it is definitely not done to the same extent everywhere. We probably should all pay more attention not to impose random sets on "standards" on others.
    13. scotty79 ◴[] No.44488890[source]
    > useless if that knowledge does not enable you to take action

    Knowledge almost always results in some for of action.

    Fore example if I know I have schizoid personality, I don't need to stress out about getting to know people just in case I might at some point start needing human contact. Because I know I won't.