Caring for yourself while caring for others

This hits home. I've been taking care of my father for years. He has dementia, COPD, and a bunch of other issues. In a lot of ways it's like the pandemic never ended for us. I barely leave the house other than for trips to the grocery store and doctor's visits. It's brutal.

Sadly, I'm also recognizing that as a man pushing 50, I'm not very good at asking for help. I don't. I'm also not good at maintaining strong social ties. Both of these are things I hope to get better at. It sounds so easy, but I struggle with both. Especially while managing the ups and downs of my mental health and taking care of my father.

That said, I'm very grateful that none of this triggered a relapse of my drinking. That would not be good. For the most part, I use meditation and exercise to hold myself together.

Sharing this doesn't excite me, but maybe there are other caregivers out there that feel the same way. And for those of you with children, please plan for how you're going to handle your late life care.

Thank you for sharing your story. It’s something I think about a lot as my parents/in-laws age (I’m 40 and parents all in their 70s in decent health but feels like a matter of time… already a few cancer scares).

I’m curious if you work with a therapist at all. Seems like a lot of what you mention struggling with, it could be helpful to have that weekly neutral observer to talk to.

Sidebar: great advice on planning for my own late life care. The analogy I always hear is “put your own mask on first” when it comes to financial planning. Paying for college / weddings / down payments on houses for the kids would be great, but far more important to make sure financial retirement goals are being met for myself first.