"Somebody Tranq That Child!"

> Combine multiple families in one household.

> Adopt multigenerational living.

> Cut your commute. Sacrifice space to relocate around work, or sacrifice pay to work closer to home.

Most of these suggestions are detached from reality, I don't move away from my family because I feel some arbitrary social expectation, I do it because I want space and freedom. Maybe for the few that are both A) highly extroverted and social, and B) happen to have a good relationship with all of their family members/friends family, this could appear pleasant.

Another option is to simply not have kids, no one is forcing you (outside of possible familial pressure, all the more reason to keep a healthy distance...)

> A) highly extroverted and social, and B) happen to have a good relationship with all of their family members/friends family, this could appear

Only B is required. Why would you need to be extroverted to live with your family!?

If you do not have a good relationship with your family that is the real problem.

Why not cut your commute. Working from home has been so liberating.

> Another option is to simply not have kids, no one is forcing you

Most people want to have kids. They are the most fulfilling thing in most people's lives. Its an option, but it means giving up a lot so is anything but "simply".

I hope you understand that "why not cut your commute" is a highly privileged question; I'm happy its been easy for you, but wfh is not a guarantee in most lines of work, and neither is reasonable CoL anywhere; wherever you live, you still need to pay bills (and not to mention that the process of moving itself is rarely easy).

And there's a lot of things I would love/want to do that I "simply" don't, because I either can't afford it, or its otherwise incompatible with my current position in life/security. This is part of being an adult.

And I have a decent relationship with most family members near me, but spending time with them is still eventually mentally exhausting, I moved out for a reason. I suspect more extroverted people do not experience such exhaustion from continued socializing (which would obv be more frequent in a multigenerational/multifamily home), so thats why I mentioned it.

> Cut your commute. Sacrifice space to relocate around work

I've actually done this. It was a massive financial stretch, but probably the best thing I've ever done for my own and my family's wellbeing...and it's not a thing that just anyone can do.

I've also done the opposite, as circumstances and life changed.

Even later in life, I've gone completely the other way. I commute once a week to spend Tuesday through Thursday near my job in another city.

Every person, situation, and dynamic is unique. There's no one-size solution that applies all of the time. The real key, IMHO, is reflecting on and knowing what you want, and then optimizing for that.

> Why not cut your commute. Working from home has been so liberating.

For people who work as, say, a crane operator at a loading/unloading dock it's exactly a simple thing to ask ships and trains to come all the way to your house. Same thing for bricklayers, warehouse workers, cashiers, librarians, archeologists, prison wardens,...

"detached from reality" seems like an overstatement.

Most of these are tradeoffs. Space and freedom is clearly what is sacrificed in this tradeoff, but that doesn't mean it isnt realistic. I tend to agree that these are the choices people are presented with. the question is just the balance they choose to strike.

Detached from YOUR reality. Not everyone dislikes their family, though I’m personally with you in that I wouldn’t want to live with mine.

These are all options. They might not suit you, but some might.

i.e. my parents are retired they could live with me, just like grandma lived with them. I've spent tons of time with grandma...

> Most of these suggestions are detached from reality, I don't move away from my family because I feel some arbitrary social expectation, I do it because I want space and freedom.

I'm going against the grain a little here, and say that's reasonable. Not all families are great to live with. Heck, I had some cousins I tried living with and nearly permanently damaged my relationship with them.

I will say deciding to live with an extended _found_ family can be awesome. There's usually someone around to help pick up slack, and there's nothing quite like the relationships you can form based on that extended time together.

Even the extended found family thing, though? Not always great. I'd say what communal living does is make for higher lows, and sometimes lower highs. If you're in abundant circumstances where you have multiple close relationships and survival/logistics aren't an issue, it's largely unnecessary -- but if you aren't, it's really worth trying.