All possible trees by major forests
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Lies, lies, misery, lies, suicide, rape, and corn prices."
So true
Kafka seems low-effort though. I humbly substitute:
You have inside you an extraordinary writer but are instead employed at the postal service, where you spend the rest of your days watching your first manuscript submission mistakenly misrouted back across your desk.
on edit: due to having eaten the brown acid I stole I forgot how to spell words like eldritch and Alan and have edited one of them in a new edition of my previous work to undo the typo introduced in the acid-addled version.
on edit: thinly veiled threat to write 500 more comments on this issue in the next few months.
Michael Crichton:
You're a brilliant scientist who's just created something that will revolutionize the world. Congratulations! It's now trying to eat you.
Michael Crichton:
You've stumbled upon a conspiracy involving [insert scientific field]. Now you're being chased by [insert government agency] while trying to explain complex scientific concepts to the reader.
Suzanne Collins:
You must choose between two brooding love interests while simultaneously overthrowing a totalitarian regime. Priorities!
Stephen King:
Welcome to small-town Maine, where the biggest threat isn't the weather, it's the [insert supernatural horror]. Don't worry, a writer will save the day.
Neil Gaiman:
Mythology crashes into modern life. You're either a god who's fallen on hard times or a regular person about to have a very weird Wednesday.
Margaret Atwood:
Society has taken a slight turn for the worse. Women are now [insert dystopian scenario]. This is definitely not a commentary on current events.
And perhaps my favorite:
George Orwell:
Big Brother is watching you. So is your toaster. And your pet. Trust no one, especially not the pigs.
Out of 30 generations, there were a few more that made me smile, but these were the main ones I enjoyed. Something I've noticed with statistical content generation is that it has a difficult time not being too "on the nose" -- almost like next-token-prediction is making it want to rush and get to the punchline a little too quickly. It has a hard time being subtle, and too often it felt like it was just a glib little summary of a story, rather than a sardonic take-a-step-back-and-look-at-the-big-picture sort of approach.
No major revelations, but just barely interesting enough to warrant commenting here. If there were a Dull Men's Club version of Hacker News, I would have posted this there.
> Renowned author Dan Brown woke up in his luxurious four-poster bed in his expensive $10 million house – and immediately he felt angry. Most people would have thought that the 48-year-old man had no reason to be angry. After all, the famous writer had a new book coming out. But that was the problem. A new book meant an inevitable attack on the rich novelist by the wealthy wordsmith’s fiercest foes. The critics.
> Renowned author Dan Brown hated the critics. Ever since he had become one of the world’s top renowned authors they had made fun of him. They had mocked bestselling book The Da Vinci Code, successful novel Digital Fortress, popular tome Deception Point, money-spinning volume Angels & Demons and chart-topping work of narrative fiction The Lost Symbol.
> The critics said his writing was clumsy, ungrammatical, repetitive and repetitive. They said it was full of unnecessary tautology. They said his prose was swamped in a sea of mixed metaphors...
https://onehundredpages.wordpress.com/2013/06/12/dont-make-f...
on edit: or perhaps I have cashed these royalty checks here, in the end times, and am having lovely sex times with erotically gender strange creatrixii - a word like any other. While the world dissolves into a tangerine ice cream created by the whim of the last human minds to develop a plot point.
on edit: I would like to detour into a very long series of comments in the following subtree of this site as to why Grant Morrison sucks and has ripped me off and is no good.
They really didn’t do Wodehouse justice in the OP
1) https://garykac.github.io/plotto/plotto-mf.html
2) https://www.npr.org/2012/02/19/146941343/plotto-an-algebra-b...
https://theonion.com/man-feels-like-he-gets-gist-of-enlighte...
Linus Torvalds: you take a week-long swing at a problem you find annoying, fascinating, or both. The result enjoys staggering worldwide success in the ensuing decades, despite being clearly outclassed by some alternative from the GNU project that, pinky promise, is coming out any day now.
Grace Hopper: BEGIN a framework that powers critical government functions, AND has secretly saved America from mass destruction time and again, only to be dunked on by Reddit for trivial matters of syntax END.
John Carmack: Doom, but better-looking.
Brendan Eich: you take a week-long swing at a problem your employer finds commercially compelling. The result enjoys staggering worldwide success in the ensuing decades, despite being clearly outclassed by the prior art it was supposed to build on.
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/what-your-favorite-sad-d...
Here's my list (++ indicates more than 1):
Fitzgerald
Hemingway ++
Shakespeare ++
Christie ++
Brown ++
Dickens
McCarthy ++
Wodehouse ++
Steinbeck ++
Stoppard
Kafka
Conan Doyle ++
Seuss (of course) ++
Lee
If you've read more than one Dickens novel, you have my deepest respect.
Pretty brilliant, right? Right?
Most of the entries are for specific books, but there are also some authors mentioned, e.g. "The Collected Works of Dean Koontz": http://www.rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/koontz.shtml
Donald Knuth: While writing your magnum opus, a minor irritation arises. You invent a new subfield of computing and spend two years developing a highly idiosyncratic language and tool system.\footnote{And several new typefaces!} Your irritation dissipates and you go back to work with your writing. Generations of academics curse your creation but have nothing better to work with. They wonder if they can get Fabrice Bellard to take a crack at it…
[0] - http://www.rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/dick.scanner.shtml
The point of a Dan Brown book is to chart the stupidest possible path through history and pop science, and he's uniquely capable of this.
Accordingly I see your balanced, partial foray into those classics as a positive. It shows you're an individual bespoke personality with broader influences. We won't know which of the modern works we read are future classics - that'll come in hundreds of years.
Neal Stephenson: You are a small cog in a historical epic leading to a far-flung speculative future, where you grapple with the complexities of technology, cryptography, and philosophy, as well as incidentally discovering the best way to eat Captain Crunch cereal.
> Boy meets girl; girl gets boy into pickle; boy gets pickle into girl
- Napoleonic sea fighting
- early cyberpunk (Hardwired)
- middle cyberpunk around the Solar System (Voice of the Whirlwind)
- late cyberpunk post-scarcity space opera(Aristoi)
- transhuman space opera (Implied Spaces)
- New Mexican police procedural / thriller (Days of Atonement)
- near future thrillers (This Is Not A Game and sequelae)
- fantasy of city infrastructure (Metropolitan and City on Fire)
- comedy of manners (the Drake Maijstral trilogy)
- Fall of the Space Roman Empire (Dread Empire's Fall series)
- Medieval fantasy (Quillifer and sequelae)
and a Giant Disaster novel, a Zelaznyesque SF mystery, and a Star Wars work-for-hire.
There's enough there for five separate authors to make marks on the field.
> In reply to that, Mr Markus was asked whether he had considered energy usage when creating the cryptocurrency.
> “i made doge in like 2 hours i didn’t consider anything,” he wrote.
I've had the pleasure of listening in on some discussions from high-school students that study classics meeting each other for the first time. Their discussions tend to be very different from what you'd hear from a typical high-school student. While other students might share the language, the ones who have read the same 50 or so great books tend to have a shared vocabulary of ideas at their disposal that doesn't seem to be there without the shared books.
Every rom-com: Boy meets girl and they have good times. Somebody messes up. They have a fight. The get back together again.
Every Hallmark movie: Big city girl ends up in small town by coincidence. While decorating for Christmas she falls for the small town guy and decides to stay. (The productions get cheaper by the year, so where they had scenery you now see people talking in front of a blurry background for 90% of the plot. )
I believe my life has been richer and more joyful for having had some companions whose minor concessions to the fiction reading hobby in childhood leant more towards Asterix and Obelix than to Charles Dickens; I'm certainly not getting "second best" from them in either company or conversation!
Nonetheless I take your point about the potential benefits of shared corpus, despite contending that the extreme of One Universal Prescription also brings the potential downsides inherent to any artificial scope constraint. Diversity and balance of focus are important too.
comment: an essayesque rant about deeply held ideological beliefs that are not even vaguely related to foo
Even more so, they provide commentary at the bottom on the weaknesses of the model, which is useful!
Apparently, dude could write.
Nick Cole:
Log Keeper's Note: Aftermath. In those dark years of the long crossing between the world we'd cut loose of the bad contract on, and the repair facility on Hardrock, the Strange Company slept and the galaxy caught fire as we dreamed for twenty-five years of sublight. The old order of the Monarchs, mighty yet petty gods determined to burn worlds and take humanity with them down into the deep dark graves of empire, began its final collapse. Worlds fell into shadowy chaos, overrun by the cackle of automatic weapons carried by the Simia Legions, while ring stations at Oberon and Circe burned like fiery jewels. Into this madness and maelstrom rode the Strange Company.
(That’s a slightly abridged excerpt from the second audiobook of the duology, Voodoo Warfare. I call them audiobooks rather than novels because in print form they are merely quite good but very derivative examples of their genre, but as narrated by Christopher Ryan Grant, they are among the most epic and inspiring stories I have ever heard come alive.)
Clive Cussler begs to differ.
on edit: it may appear that I am easily hurt and somewhat petty, but given that I am stomping about the countryside flattening cottages it follows I am actually very strong and the far bigger man.
Working on (a medium-sized team that is working on) an LTE base station in the late 2000s and then I'm introduced to his work. It was a very humbling experience. Over the decades I've met a handful of people who were, at times, within reach of Fabrice but he is truly in a league of his own.
https://onehundredpages.wordpress.com/2013/06/12/dont-make-f...
This product is really cool and congrats to the team for pulling this off. The rest of my paragraph is full of euphemisms of why my product is actually better, and why this product is actually shit.
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Meanwhile, I've concurrently read 70+ other "lesser" classics (i.e. less than Jest's 1300 pages + citations) in those same two years. This includes all of Vonnegut, most of Steinbeck, and half of Gárcia Marquéz.
1. Anthony Trollope – I didn’t get this one. 2. Evelyn Waugh – Correct! 3. Henry James – Correct! 4. Graham Greene – I missed this, was thinking of the wrong tone. 5. W. Shakespeare (i) – Correct! 6. Samuel Richardson – Correct! 7. David Foster Wallace – I guessed Gaddis, but this makes perfect sense. Partial credit. 8. Marcel Proust – Correct! 9. Mrs. Gaskell – Correct! 10. Ian McEwan – Partial credit; I guessed Atonement after Henry James. 11. E. M. Forster – Correct! 12. Cormac McCarthy – Correct! 13. P. G. Wodehouse – Correct! 14. Alan Bennett – I guessed Chekhov/Osborne, so I missed this. 15. Jane Austen – Correct! 16. Dan Brown – Correct! 17. Agatha Christie – Correct! 18. Zadie Smith – Missed this one. 19. W. Shakespeare (ii) – Correct! 20. Iris Murdoch – Correct! 21. Ernest Hemingway – Correct! 22. John Banville – Correct! 23. Harold Pinter – Correct! 24. F. Scott Fitzgerald – Correct! 25. Tennessee Williams – Correct! 26. Oscar Wilde – Correct! 27. D. H. Lawrence – Correct! 28. Thomas Hardy – Correct! 29. Virginia Woolf – Missed this one, was thinking of Galsworthy. 30. Tom Stoppard – Correct!
Final score: 25/30 with a couple of partial credits. Not bad!
That's the plot of every single novel. In Neuromancer: Case & co. is hired by Armitage. In Count Zero Turner is hired to rescue a scientist out of a biolab, although the McGuffin is the scientist's daughter; there is a second hire plot involving a mysterious millionaire hiring an art curator to look for an art piece. In Mona Lisa Overdrive, Mona is hired by a mysterious group for a gig that turns out to be a way to kidnap a McGuffin. Not much else happens. In Virtual Light, Rydell is hired to recover a McGuffin stolen by another character. In Pattern Recognition, Cayce is hired by a mysterious millionaire to trace an obscuree Internet video. In The Peripheral, the main character is hired by a mysterious group to remotely patrol a building. And so on.
It's like Gibson can't invent a plot where the plot isn't about work. And the person hiring the main character is always this shady and incredibly wealthy individual, so that the main character can be supported by all their resources.
Blurred realities and questions about identity doesn't sound like any Gibson book I've read. That sounds more like Philip K. Dick.
Epigraph: Wherever in the universe one happens to find them, an old battlefield, a forgotten glade, buried deep in the rubble of a dead and beam-ravaged world, the graves of Strange Company are often marked such: “Strangers to the Universe, Brothers to the End.”