Bring back menus, QR codes are terrible

> Before the pandemic, I’d shudder at the sight of a restaurant table full of people all staring at their phones. I was always happy not to be them or be sitting with them. I always kept the lively conversation flowing at my table.

I always thought this perspective was funny because it always assumed what the people on their phones were doing. The assumption is that they are disengaged with each other when it's just as likely that they are talking with each other in a group chat alongside a few other non-present participants in the same group chat, and all trying to share photos with each other that they just took from the outting beforehand, or setting up a way to split costs in advance, or something else equally or more interactive than a conversation you can eavesdrop on.

Usually it's just shitty UX slowing them down.

> it's just as likely that they are talking with each other in a group chat alongside a few other non-present participants in the same group chat

To me, that's just as bad. Spend time with the people you're with while you're with them. Text the others later. But different strokes!

Okay then, it is just as likely they are only talking with each other in a group chat made specifically for sharing media and coordination, and not any non-present participants.

Sitting down at some kind of place to eat is remarkably one of the only places where there is organic down time to synchronize media.

I do have enough self awareness to joke with my friends that out of touch people think we are probably just disengaged with each other on our phones.

I mean, if that’s how you and your friends want to hang. I don’t like that experience and choose to go to restaurants with people I’d like to eat with and talk to in person. For me, pulling out the phone at dinner is rude. Whatever it is can wait the until after dinner.

It's happened before. Its not usually relevant when we only showed up to eat. Its usually relevant after a days worth of activities with media that was meant to be shared, and then the day eventually included eating.

The only point is that you don't know what others are actually doing and it doesn't matter what the explanation is.

Even amongst this crowd, disengaging with someone at dinner is rude. The device used to disengage has little to do with that.

I’m saying I don’t care what others are doing. If the restaurant wants people on their phones I’ll go somewhere else. If there’s a party that chooses to be on their phones that’s fine. I just won’t be using my phone or eating on the company of others on their phone.

Same crap no matter what... can't believe I am feeling old school for actually wanting to interact with people eye to eye when meeting them. Luckily all our friends have same approach, so we either don't have phones with us at all (because why really), or somewhere in deep pocket and untouched for whole evening. Refreshing feeling, one should try it from time to time

you're only "old school" because you can't imagine the reasoning or are projecting what you would do with a phone and are avoiding. you are imagining that everyone else just showed up at that point and disengaged. could be the case, could not be, you can't distinguish and it isn't your role to. Healthier to assume they aren't disengaged, if you must assume anything.

other reasons I would have my phone with me would be for the uber/shared ride to and from the location, to potentially pay for the meal or incidentals, to potentially take photos, to share my location with someone looking for me usually in that group that hasn't arrived yet, or continue sharing my location to people I always do. I hear this last part is taboo, but maybe even text message someone.

It’s only rude if it isn’t expected. If reading the menu requires a phone, having your phone out is expected and not rude. If needing to take out your phone at the beginning of dinner is enough to distract your friends throughout the rest of the meal, perhaps there are larger problems than how you order food.

When I eat with people we use our phones to order and then put them away when they’re no longer necessary. It doesn’t change the dining experience at all and people still talk to each other.

It always irritated me because it's incredibly condescending (the author's view, not yours).

Since we both work from home, my fiancée and I spend the vast majority of our day together. Sometimes everything we have to talk about has already been talked about during the day, and we just want to relax over some nice food. There's nothing wrong with us reading stuff on our phones while we wait for the meal to arrive.

The modern "consensus" seems to be that at such events, many if not most people do leave their phone in their pocket for a good first hour or so. So a basic awareness still exists.

Then comes the predictable ice breaker event. Somebody, as part of their conversation, needs their phone to show you something. The car they want to buy. Looking up a fact to settle your argument.

The first phone comes out, starting the phone avalanche. Everybody knows its ok now, and check their messages or whatever. The seal is broken.

The addiction is so widespread that we're still at full denial stage at society level.

Because the true reason almost everybody is itchy to pull out that phone is so bitter that it cannot be said out loud, but I will:

Whatever is on that phone, you find more interesting than your friends. And quite likely, because it really is more interesting. Because your phone can do anything and is full of surprises, yet your friend is not.

Downvote me, the truth hurts.

> Downvote me, the truth hurts.

I don’t think anyone cares enough actually

We aren’t triggered by this possible reality

There are limits to the etiquette and whats considered rude but it has shifted

Its the level of engagement, not the presence of the device itself