Maybe you’re not trying

I think the "maybe you're not actually trying" framing is not very constructive. The author did try, making decisions and taking actions that seemed appropriate for her situation at the time. The problem was that because her attempts to solve the problem failed -- again and again and again -- she stopped trying. Which is a not-entirely-unreasonable thing to do.

I would frame it more like: just because you have tried and failed doesn't mean you can't succeed, even if you have failed again and again and again. Circumstances change. New solutions become available. New resources or new insights present themselves. Sometimes just doing nothing and letting time pass actually produces progress. But the only thing that guarantees failure is to give up altogether.

Also see

“It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not weakness, that is life.” Jean-Luc Picard

Also, not everything is a competition that needs to be won.

I am not competitive. That's a deliberate stance, and one that I've held for decades.

It does contribute to the fact that I haven't achieved greatness, but I have no regrets, and haven't done badly, despite that. It's not weakness, as some folks have found out, over the years.

When I "win," then someone else "loses." I have a problem with that.