We should have the ability to run any code we want on hardware we own

You already have that ability, afaik there is nothing stopping you or your friends from loading and running whatever software you want except your own technical ability.

If you want the government to force other people to do the work to let you have your cake and eat it too, I can't support that.

iPhones have a locked bootloader; it is impossible to run an OS not signed by Apple unless you find an exploit.

So what? Should security features be illegal so people can more easily run their own OS's on phones?

Well no. I agree with your overall point in that I don’t really think vendors should be forced to allow you to install whatever software you want. I’m just pointing out that the way you described the current situation is inaccurate.