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Why don't you move abroad?

(orkohunter.net)
189 points orkohunter | 2 comments | 20 Nov 24 08:23 UTC | HN request time: 0s | source
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TrackerFF ◴[20 Nov 24 09:43 UTC] No.42192247[source]▶
For some, home is where the heart is.

I've lived in 11 major cities around the world for the past 25 years, but in the end I moved back home to my rural hometown, in my home country. Remote work made that possible. I make probably 20% of what I could have done in high-COL areas like the Bay Area.

But I have a fantastic work-life balance. Make good money, relative to my peers. Clock in 9, clock out 4. Get to spend lots of time on my hobbies, never work any weekends. Live in a peaceful place with zero crime, everything is a 5 min walk from my home. Hiking trail is practically 50m from my doorstep. Family and friends live close by.

I did spend some time fighting FOMO of not living in a big city, which held me back from moving home - but COVID kind of accelerated that decision.

With that said, I always say to younger people that they should try to move out in their 20s-30s, see the world. I've never met anyone that regretted on "traveling too much".

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david-gpu ◴[20 Nov 24 10:28 UTC] No.42192536[source]▶
> I've never met anyone that regretted on "traveling too much".

And yet you eventually decided that it wasn't for you and you chose to go back home.

There are pros and cons to all possibilities, whether it is staying put, traveling as a tourist, or immigrating in a foreign country. People rarely grasp the true costs of immigrating until it is too late -- I've seen several remarkably similar examples.

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viraptor ◴[20 Nov 24 10:39 UTC] No.42192607[source]▶
They didn't say they traveled too much. Deciding to stop something doesn't mean you overdid it.
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david-gpu ◴[20 Nov 24 10:57 UTC] No.42192709[source]▶
> They didn't say they traveled too much.

Indeed, that is my point: their actions did not march their narrative. They eventually realized that it wasn't all that great and corrected course.

If being abroad was such a universally positive choice as they claim, they would have remained abroad.

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viraptor ◴[20 Nov 24 11:02 UTC] No.42192732[source]▶
"move out in their 20s-30s, see the world" does not mean "move abroad permanently". The author also didn't say it wasn't great, just that they prefered home.
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david-gpu ◴[20 Nov 24 11:12 UTC] No.42192779[source]▶
Look, I speak from my own experience and what I have seen in others: young people being told that moving abroad is such a great experience and all that. The reality is that most of those people who move abroad hoping for a better future do not understand what they are really getting into -- I know I didn't.

In other words, I am trying to kindly offer a more nuanced take on what moving abroad entails. Not everybody is willing to admit that their past decisions had downsides -- we all want to make it look like we are successful and in charge of our lives. Our actions speak louder.

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yen223 ◴[20 Nov 24 11:27 UTC] No.42192862[source]▶
It is much better that the young person tries it and decides it's not for them, than for the young person to never try and to have that doubt gnawing at them for the rest of their life.
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david-gpu ◴[20 Nov 24 11:36 UTC] No.42192909[source]▶
And why would that doubt be gnawing at them for the rest of their life? Do you think it is possible that all the rah-rah "moving abroad is great" messaging could have something to do with it?

Moving abroad is often a choice. Moving back can be a lot harder once you have a spouse and children.

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1. yen223 ◴[20 Nov 24 11:56 UTC] No.42193047{3}[source]▶
The doubt comes from not knowing. Not knowing if a different life choice 20 years ago would have made them happier now, because they never tried.

If they gave it a go and it didn't work out, then they know, and they would have plenty of time to course-correct. There wouldn't be any doubt.

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2. david-gpu ◴[20 Nov 24 12:21 UTC] No.42193266[source]▶
> and they would have plenty of time to course-correct

Not in the common scenario where they have married and had children abroad.

I do know of some people who left their country for 10+ years and returned. In all cases they had married somebody of the same nationality as theirs and moved while the children were still too young to care.

In other words, the people who can easily return typically do so. Those who don't return often want but can't for one reason or another (usually their new family).