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Why don't you move abroad?

(orkohunter.net)
194 points orkohunter | 12 comments | 20 Nov 24 08:23 UTC | HN request time: 3.1s | source | bottom
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TrackerFF ◴[20 Nov 24 09:43 UTC] No.42192247[source]▶
For some, home is where the heart is.

I've lived in 11 major cities around the world for the past 25 years, but in the end I moved back home to my rural hometown, in my home country. Remote work made that possible. I make probably 20% of what I could have done in high-COL areas like the Bay Area.

But I have a fantastic work-life balance. Make good money, relative to my peers. Clock in 9, clock out 4. Get to spend lots of time on my hobbies, never work any weekends. Live in a peaceful place with zero crime, everything is a 5 min walk from my home. Hiking trail is practically 50m from my doorstep. Family and friends live close by.

I did spend some time fighting FOMO of not living in a big city, which held me back from moving home - but COVID kind of accelerated that decision.

With that said, I always say to younger people that they should try to move out in their 20s-30s, see the world. I've never met anyone that regretted on "traveling too much".

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david-gpu ◴[20 Nov 24 10:28 UTC] No.42192536[source]▶
> I've never met anyone that regretted on "traveling too much".

And yet you eventually decided that it wasn't for you and you chose to go back home.

There are pros and cons to all possibilities, whether it is staying put, traveling as a tourist, or immigrating in a foreign country. People rarely grasp the true costs of immigrating until it is too late -- I've seen several remarkably similar examples.

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viraptor ◴[20 Nov 24 10:39 UTC] No.42192607[source]▶
They didn't say they traveled too much. Deciding to stop something doesn't mean you overdid it.
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david-gpu ◴[20 Nov 24 10:57 UTC] No.42192709[source]▶
> They didn't say they traveled too much.

Indeed, that is my point: their actions did not march their narrative. They eventually realized that it wasn't all that great and corrected course.

If being abroad was such a universally positive choice as they claim, they would have remained abroad.

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1. viraptor ◴[20 Nov 24 11:02 UTC] No.42192732[source]▶
"move out in their 20s-30s, see the world" does not mean "move abroad permanently". The author also didn't say it wasn't great, just that they prefered home.
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2. david-gpu ◴[20 Nov 24 11:12 UTC] No.42192779[source]▶
Look, I speak from my own experience and what I have seen in others: young people being told that moving abroad is such a great experience and all that. The reality is that most of those people who move abroad hoping for a better future do not understand what they are really getting into -- I know I didn't.

In other words, I am trying to kindly offer a more nuanced take on what moving abroad entails. Not everybody is willing to admit that their past decisions had downsides -- we all want to make it look like we are successful and in charge of our lives. Our actions speak louder.

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3. yen223 ◴[20 Nov 24 11:27 UTC] No.42192862[source]▶
It is much better that the young person tries it and decides it's not for them, than for the young person to never try and to have that doubt gnawing at them for the rest of their life.
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4. em-bee ◴[20 Nov 24 11:31 UTC] No.42192893[source]▶
so it makes sense that you feel like that, but please don't try to justify your experience by claiming that everyone else feels the same.

i left when i was young and it was the greatest experience ever. i would not miss it for the world. but my motivation was not money, it was learning. when i stop learning where i am, then i move on.

eventually i may move back to where i am from, not because it's not working out or because it would have been a mistake, but because i have run out of places to go to and also because it's time to give back.

i am now old enough that i can use my experience to influence the next generation back home to open their mind more towards the world.

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5. david-gpu ◴[20 Nov 24 11:36 UTC] No.42192909{3}[source]▶
And why would that doubt be gnawing at them for the rest of their life? Do you think it is possible that all the rah-rah "moving abroad is great" messaging could have something to do with it?

Moving abroad is often a choice. Moving back can be a lot harder once you have a spouse and children.

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6. david-gpu ◴[20 Nov 24 11:38 UTC] No.42192925{3}[source]▶
> so it makes sense that you feel like that, but please don't try to justify your experience by claiming that everyone else feels the same

I beg your pardon? Let me quote the very first comment I made in this thread.

>>>> There are pros and cons to all possibilities, whether it is staying put, traveling as a tourist, or immigrating in a foreign country.

This is in contrast to some of the claims made by others in this thread, such as:

> I always say to younger people that they should try to move out in their 20s-30s, see the world

> in my opinion everyone should spend at least one year abroad somewhere just for the experience.

That said, I am glad things are working out for you. I am just trying to warn people that immigration also has its downsides in spite of popular memes.

Just for curiosity, did you marry abroad? Have children abroad? Did your parents die while you lived there?

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7. em-bee ◴[20 Nov 24 11:39 UTC] No.42192937{3}[source]▶
exactly, it is an experience that will shape their lives. in my opinion everyone should spend at least one year abroad somewhere just for the experience.

i spent 11th grade as an exchange student, so when i got a job abroad years later, i knew what i was getting into.

in between i volunteered for IAESTE, an organization that helps students get internships abroad because i believed that it would be a valuable experience more students should be able to benefit from.

8. yen223 ◴[20 Nov 24 11:56 UTC] No.42193047{4}[source]▶
The doubt comes from not knowing. Not knowing if a different life choice 20 years ago would have made them happier now, because they never tried.

If they gave it a go and it didn't work out, then they know, and they would have plenty of time to course-correct. There wouldn't be any doubt.

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9. david-gpu ◴[20 Nov 24 12:21 UTC] No.42193266{5}[source]▶
> and they would have plenty of time to course-correct

Not in the common scenario where they have married and had children abroad.

I do know of some people who left their country for 10+ years and returned. In all cases they had married somebody of the same nationality as theirs and moved while the children were still too young to care.

In other words, the people who can easily return typically do so. Those who don't return often want but can't for one reason or another (usually their new family).

10. rcxdude ◴[20 Nov 24 12:50 UTC] No.42193477{4}[source]▶
I think your first post would have been stronger if you hadn't held up the poster's decision to return home as evidence that travelling could be negative, because that didn't follow on from their post or point whatsoever. The rest of your points can stand without that.

(FWIW, I disagree: there is tremendous value in travelling, even if just as a tourist. The main issue is having the resources to do it, which I think is frequently underestimated. Where I personally call home is quite different from where I grew up, but unlike the OP I don't have any particular family ties to a single area, because my family is very spread around, having all settled elsewhere after travelling for work, study, or just for something different. I also have never found someone who regretted moving, even the case of two different people I know who went to the effort of moving the the US and then finding they really don't like it, and moving back within months, don't regret the experience, even if it was expensive)

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11. david-gpu ◴[20 Nov 24 13:09 UTC] No.42193620{5}[source]▶
> I think your first post would have been stronger if you hadn't held up the poster's decision to return home as evidence that travelling could be negative, because that didn't follow on from their post or point whatsoever.

This is how the thread went from my perspective:

> [Them] I used to do something and then stopped. My life is fantastic now. That said, I recommend everybody to do what I stopped doing; I have never met anybody who regretted doing it.

> [Me] If it is so great, why did you stop? There are pros and cons to both doing and not doing it

> [Others] But doing that thing is so great! Everybody should do it!

> [Me] Here are some of the common long-term downsides of doing that thing...

> [Others] Don't claim this happens to everybody! Doing that thing is so great! Everybody should do it!

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12. rcxdude ◴[20 Nov 24 20:43 UTC] No.42197915{6}[source]▶
Because the general recommendation, throughout this thread, is to travel when you're relatively young, not to just keep travelling indefinitely. That seems to be the missing gap here. It's possible for something to be valuable to do for some period without it being a good idea to just keep doing it your whole life. (to use an analogy, someone might recommend going to university, but that doesn't mean that you should just spend your whole life doing undergraduate degrees, and you could reasonably critique either option, but not the first by pointing out that someone recommending it didn't keep getting degrees)