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Treating bullying as everyone's problem reduces incidence in primary schools

(phys.org)
175 points PaulHoule | 13 comments | 16 Nov 24 14:34 UTC | HN request time: 0.45s | source | bottom
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dijit ◴[16 Nov 24 21:07 UTC] No.42159330[source]▶
I always found it really frustrating that a "zero tolerance" policy to bullying seemed to disproportionately affect people who eventually fight back.

I would guess it's a combination of "nobody sees the first hit" (since your attention is elsewhere, of course) and that bullies get quite good at testing boundaries and thus know how to avoid detection.

But, really, it's truly frustrating that as I child I was bullied relentlessly, and when I finally took my parents advice and stood my ground, I was expelled from school (due to zero tolerance). Those bullies continued to torment some other kids, of course.

This is far from an uncommon situation, over the years I've heard many more scenarios like this.

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Loughla ◴[16 Nov 24 21:14 UTC] No.42159404[source]▶
I was also expelled for fighting back. This was how I learned that documentation is important in life.

When I got the paperwork saying I was out, my parents sent back all the correspondence with the school, the dates the bully bothered me, and the responses (or lack thereof) from the school. I was reinstated and the bully went to another district.

Bullying in my day was at least bearable because it was confined to times when I was physically near the bully. Kids today have it so much worse with social media. It's genuinely terrifying. I don't wonder why many teens are anxious. Everything they do is documented.

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thaumasiotes ◴[16 Nov 24 22:12 UTC] No.42159832[source]▶
> Bullying in my day was at least bearable because it was confined to times when I was physically near the bully. Kids today have it so much worse with social media.

I don't get it. Anything a bully can do to you over social media, they can also do to you without using the internet at all. Anything they needed to be near you to do, they still need to be near you to do.

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nicksergeant ◴[16 Nov 24 22:18 UTC] No.42159877[source]▶
There's twice as much surface area. Bullies can now do their thing 24/7 from behind the screen _and_ still physically torment.
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thaumasiotes ◴[16 Nov 24 22:19 UTC] No.42159886[source]▶
Again, whatever they can do from behind a screen now, they could also do in your absence before.
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1. ab5tract ◴[16 Nov 24 22:32 UTC] No.42159982[source]▶
No, they couldn’t.

Just a single obvious example: What tools did they have to broadcast photoshopped images of you to all of your peers?

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2. thaumasiotes ◴[16 Nov 24 22:56 UTC] No.42160204[source]▶
Printers.

If you're thinking "what tools did they have to create photoshopped images of you with?", why would you attribute that to social media?

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3. bigfudge ◴[16 Nov 24 23:14 UTC] No.42160374[source]▶
Is it possible you are being thick here? Mentally rehearse the process of photoshopping your victims image and then printing it out and circulating it to everyone in the class before or at bedtime.
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4. lelandbatey ◴[16 Nov 24 23:16 UTC] No.42160406[source]▶
While technically true in describing the possibility, there is a big difference in ease between printing a photo and sending a message to a user via a digital platform e.g. WhatsApp.

To physically bully you before with a compromising (but fake) photo, the bully would need to physically distribute said images to the presence of your friends and family, which requires time, knowledge of their location, etc. Not so now; if you used a social network and they could see connections to other users (such as family members) then they can just follow those connections by messaging those people directly.

That difference in scale and ease for the bully is real vis-a-vis physically vs social media.

5. teamonkey ◴[16 Nov 24 23:43 UTC] No.42160586{3}[source]▶
No, they were printed out, hung up around school, posted into lockers…
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6. amatecha ◴[16 Nov 24 23:50 UTC] No.42160630[source]▶
Are you really trying to suggest that printing out 500-1000 copies of a photo and handing it out physically to all the kids in the school is the same as effortlessly spamming the same image out through online groups/chats? Come on, man.
7. lostlogin ◴[17 Nov 24 00:22 UTC] No.42160832{4}[source]▶
I suppose it was all just as bad before printers too?

You just did a lot of oil paintings. And prior to that you did some cave drawings?

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8. hackable_sand ◴[17 Nov 24 07:17 UTC] No.42162515{5}[source]▶
Y'all are literally bullying here.

The irony would be hilarious, if it wasn't just straight up mean.

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9. delusional ◴[17 Nov 24 07:26 UTC] No.42162553[source]▶
I dont mean to be nasty, but what sort of turbo nerds are bullying you if they decide to Photoshop images. Back in my day, bullying was about repeatedly keeping people out of the ingroup until they internalized their otherness. It was opportunistic. We didn't plan elaborate scenarios, we called him gay when he spoke about something he cared about. That was enough.

If anything, social media would give that kid more opportunities to find a group that will accept them.

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10. bigfudge ◴[17 Nov 24 07:46 UTC] No.42162639{6}[source]▶
If it comes across that way apologies. I was honestly suspecting that the post I was replying to was being deliberately obtuse, but I guess it’s possible that this happened to them and it’s unduly salient as a consequence.
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11. ben_w ◴[17 Nov 24 09:09 UTC] No.42162959[source]▶
When I was at school, printers were expensive and bad, cameras weren't digital and film was non-trivial price to buy and also to develop, and the one single scanner we had was one-bit black and white.

And normal people on the internet was told to never ever reveal their name or address to others online for fear bad people would misuse that info.

12. monkeyfun ◴[17 Nov 24 10:13 UTC] No.42163216[source]▶
Now imagine you're calling that kid gay constantly and you can look at all the worst stuff whenever you feel like to go mock it extra as a bully. And they only have to know it's you if you feel like it. (Anxiety's a big thing to remember there too, anxiety and obsessions and any historical traumas)

It's not a world of difference, but it might explain why it's not as stark as you might expect at worst.

13. hackable_sand ◴[18 Nov 24 05:04 UTC] No.42169854{7}[source]▶
Y'all never stopped to consider their point.

Let me give you an analogy:

An apple takes 1 year to fall from a tree.

An apple takes 1 seconds to fall from a tree.

An apple falls from a tree.

No difference.