Hi Swirly, most youtube videos will not help that much, other than conference talks. I recommend going more slowly, and comfortably reading books. For example "Designing Data-Intensive Applications", based on your interests. Don't read it over a weekend, read it over a couple of months.
Your focus should also shift a little bit more towards helping others, thinking about where the whole team is going, etc.
But give it time. As long as you keep learning, you will get there. :)
replies(3):