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291 points Michelangelo11 | 1 comments | | HN request time: 0.636s | source
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skinkestek ◴[] No.42057955[source]
> “You’re better looking than the guy I talked to before.” Such harassment remains common for tradeswomen

If people think this is harassment, no wonder people experience a lot of harassment.

Unless there was more to it the correct answer is along the lines of "yes thankfully" and then a laugh.

I'd recommend a good look in the mirror when looking for the problem in such situations.

Same goes for the thing about trying to discreetly notifying that someone has dirty hands:

Yes, I don't know what is up with Americans and demanding everyone has clean hands at all times, but as long as that is a thing this probably is meant as a favor. Maybe clumsily, but still.

More generally the saying: "when you hear hooves, think horses, not zebras" comes to mind:

If you expect things to be meant funny or helpful (and give people some slack) maybe life becomes a lot less stressful than if everything has to be seen through a lens of gender dynamics.

And if one is known as a reasonable person, I guess people will also take your side if you have to be loud and clear about something, e.g. if it turns out someone wasn't just clumsily trying to be nice or funny.

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globular-toast ◴[] No.42067427[source]
I often wonder what my life would be like if I'd been told as a child that I would face discrimination. Would I attribute every failure, rejection, misfortune, and unfair treatment to systematic discrimination? I think I probably would.
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1. skinkestek ◴[] No.42074230[source]
I wasn't included in almost anything (games, typically soccer in breaks, after school activities) before I was almost a teenager and switched school.

That was also the first time I didn't get in trouble for defending my personal space.

I had poor parents (dad working low paid jobs, stay at home mom). Grew up far from cousins. Started working (real, hard work) as soon as it was legal as a 15 y.o. Started paying my own clothes and shoes then as far as possible.

I probably could have made a point out of all that more often, but I have chosen to be thankful for loving parents, growing up in a good country and getting a lot of friends as I grew up.

But I do find it hilarious when certain HNers want to educate me about privilege just because I am a white SW engineer.

Edit, to be clear: I don't accuse you of trying to educate me. It seems you are just thinking out loud.

I am just pointing out that it is possible to not let ones background influence ones present too much.