Previous threads we've done: https://news.ycombinator.com/submitted?id=proberts.
You should have considered the immigration consequences before you got married. The only thing that can change your situation is if your marriage ends in death or divorce. Otherwise you must wait.
9 FAM 502.2-3(D)
> a. (U) Immediate Relative Converts to Third Preference: If the child of a U.S. citizen is the beneficiary of an IR petition, the petition automatically converts to a third preference petition if the child marries. The priority date of the third preference petition is the filing date of the immediate relative petition.
> b. (U) First Preference Converts to Third Preference: If the unmarried son or daughter of a U.S. citizen marries before the visa is issued, the beneficiary's first preference petition automatically converts to a family third preference petition. Any child(ren) of the beneficiary would then be entitled to derivative third preference status. The priority date remains the same.
> e. (U) Third Preference Converts to First Preference: (1) (U) A third preference petition approved for a married son or daughter of a U.S. citizen who has since become widowed or divorced automatically converts to accord first preference status (or IR status if the beneficiary is under the age of 21). If the petition converts to first preference, the accompanying or following-to-join child(ren) may be granted derivative first preference status. The priority date remains the same.
I may be wrong, but I think immigration consequences were not something any reasonable, normal person would have had any reason to think of. We are normal people, living normal lives. As I say, I may be wrong, but this feels like blaming the victim.
Rather than blaming the victim it’s a hard truth. Now, I would personally love for this to be different BUT as long as rules on immigration are what they are in many places of the world, we need to consider it when we move/marry/have kids.
For instance, one important piece of advice to people thinking about studies abroad (especially PhD) is to also consider what their particular opportunities for work and permanent residence is in the place they go to. Chance are after many years in a place, you may meet someone or you may want to stay. If you choose a place (say UK a few years ago) that is unlikely to let you stick around, well you may need to be prepared for disappointment.
Furthermore, unless you live in a country where you clearly have an idea of how to get PR then you always need live with the understanding that you may at any point have to pack up and move. This is a reality, and sucks to take in but is the truth. Nothing worse than building a life some place and then 10 years down the line get rejected during your semi annual “visa renewal”.