The waiting time paradox: why is my bus always late? (2018)

When I first started going into the office regularly back in February, I would stop in a 7-Eleven a block away from my “L” stop on my way in.¹ Every day for the first couple of weeks, I would watch the train leaving the stop right when I walked out of 7-Eleven, regardless of when I left my apartment.

My solution has been to stop looking at the station when I leave 7-Eleven.

⸻

1. I still do.

Same energy as ``Doctor, it hurts when I raise my arm.''

``Then stop raising your arm.''

My favorite version:

A patient comes into a doctors office complaining of pain all over. The patient grabs their elbow and says: "It hurts when I touch my elbow like this." They then grabs onto their shin and says "When I grab my shin like this, it starts hurting too!" Finally, they massage their forehead and say "It even hurts when I rub my head! Doctor what's wrong with me!?"

The doctor runs a few tests and replies: "Your finger is broken."

My favorite doctor joke, semi related:

Patient: Doctor will I be able to play piano after the procedure?

Doctor: Yes, I don't see why not.

Patient: That's wonderful! I could never play piano before!

Simpsons did this one in the Planet of the Apes episode. Here's a musical rendition by Dankmus.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMRcIOjdojU

You just need to practice.

I’m fond of an exchange from the end of “The Doctor Dances”:

Mrs. Harcourt : My leg’s grown back. When I come to the ‘ospital I had one leg.

Dr. Constantine: Well, there is a war on. Is it possible you miscounted?

What’s wrong with me?

I think you’re crazy.

I want a second opinion!

You’re also lazy!

I am not crazy! (in the voice of chuck from Better Call Saul)

Patient: Every time I drink coffee I feel a pain in my right eye.

Doctor: Take the spoon out of the cup.