The waiting time paradox: why is my bus always late? (2018)

It's not just that the bus is always late, it's also that when you are late yourself, the bus is always on time and just leaving.

When I first started going into the office regularly back in February, I would stop in a 7-Eleven a block away from my “L” stop on my way in.¹ Every day for the first couple of weeks, I would watch the train leaving the stop right when I walked out of 7-Eleven, regardless of when I left my apartment.

My solution has been to stop looking at the station when I leave 7-Eleven.

⸻

1. I still do.

I feel this is my bones

Same energy as ``Doctor, it hurts when I raise my arm.''

``Then stop raising your arm.''

Yes, or my favourite: the bus shows late and then later and later and later on the “next bus” feature on my phone, then eventually it jumps 20 minutes indicating the bus has been cancelled for that cycle, so I start walking home, only for the bus to show up when I’m just too far from the stop to reach it!

A variation: I used to take the bus instead of a 15 minute walk (it was late in the day, I was tired, etc). Sometimes the bus would take more than 15 minutes to arrive, so I questioned my decision to continue waiting. When I finally walked home, the bus would catch up with me a couple of blocks before I got home.

My favorite version:

A patient comes into a doctors office complaining of pain all over. The patient grabs their elbow and says: "It hurts when I touch my elbow like this." They then grabs onto their shin and says "When I grab my shin like this, it starts hurting too!" Finally, they massage their forehead and say "It even hurts when I rub my head! Doctor what's wrong with me!?"

The doctor runs a few tests and replies: "Your finger is broken."

My favorite doctor joke, semi related:

Patient: Doctor will I be able to play piano after the procedure?

Doctor: Yes, I don't see why not.

Patient: That's wonderful! I could never play piano before!

Simpsons did this one in the Planet of the Apes episode. Here's a musical rendition by Dankmus.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMRcIOjdojU

You just need to practice.

I’m fond of an exchange from the end of “The Doctor Dances”:

Mrs. Harcourt : My leg’s grown back. When I come to the ‘ospital I had one leg.

Dr. Constantine: Well, there is a war on. Is it possible you miscounted?

Yes. This is the key piece to understand this "paradox":

> you arrive at a random time

So, um, if you intend to take public transit, it's best to not arrive at a random time. Looking at the time tables and planning around them is public transit user 101.

What’s wrong with me?

I think you’re crazy.

I want a second opinion!

You’re also lazy!

Only for infrequent service. Many riders have service so frequent they don't check or plan as they know the bus will be there not long after they arrive, no matter when they arrive. This might even be a majority as such service is so convenient that people who live there don't bother with alternatives like a owting a car.

or worse. leaves two minutes early when you're right on time.

I am not crazy! (in the voice of chuck from Better Call Saul)

Patient: Every time I drink coffee I feel a pain in my right eye.

Doctor: Take the spoon out of the cup.

what you didnt realize is that the "early" bus is actually the late bus from the previous timeslot.