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FAQ on Leaving Google

(social.clawhammer.net)
462 points mrled | 2 comments | | HN request time: 0.411s | source
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danparsonson ◴[] No.39034789[source]
> Context: When I was laid off from Google, I knew I'd be deluged with questions. I wrote this FAQ to share with friends and family, to prevent repeated explanation.

This is quite sweet in its stereotypical techie approach to life - your friends and family are asking questions about your situation because they care about and want to bond with you, not because they particularly care about the actual information you're conveying :-)

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tysam_and ◴[] No.39035174[source]
Well they can find alternative methods then that are less frazzling, there are fewer things worse than not feeling seen due to only answering questions!

I know it can be good, but sometimes the questions can legitimately get in the way of connection and spending quality time, and not everyone wants to have the hard conversation while being in the hotseat (especially not over, and over, and over again. I am transgender, for example, and while having 1 mildly hostile family member would be a somewhat-problem, most of my extended family only wants to talk about that thing, and that one thing, with me, to the point where it effectively creates a wall. That at least is my experience of the issue, it's not quite the same, but I've definitely experienced the "questions dynamic" within other, much-more-mild scenarios, and generally, IMPE, I really dislike it unless I'm actively getting something interesting out of it, which I'm oftentimes not! It can be very much isolating, as far as my personal experience goes.)

So, not really a terrible solution, I think! <3 :'))))

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1. logicprog ◴[] No.39037068[source]
Oh hey I'm trans too and I was literally just about to pop in to respond in a nearly identical way! Yeah, having to answer the same set of questions, that aren't particularly interesting or bond-generating to you, over and over, just creates a really annoying barrier to interact with people. It's apparently a really common experience in a lot of marginalized communities. So it really can sometimes just be easier to have something to get the rote questions out og the way so you can get to more meaningful personal interaction.
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2. tysam_and ◴[] No.39038904[source]
Yes! Playing through the rote action exchange can be rather exhausting, especially if I've already bridged that connection and know the person -- there's not much reason for it, and it can be exhausting!

Unfortunately, with where my past is, a whole lot of my family too has the idea that I'm living a distorted life, and that this needs to be corrected (almost as a first priority thing). There's almost an Animal-Farm-istic "All sins are equal, but some sins are more equal than others" kind of thing going on there, if you catch what I mean.

Intellectually, I think many of them can understand how this is not really the most rational thing given the on-paper beliefs, but emotionally, it's a very different story, and the emotions seem to win out on that front.

Answering the basics isn't too terrible for me, though it definitely can be a problem if it's the only focus (and if the conversation inevitably keeps looping around to that singular topic. I am a freaking human being, darnmnitall!!)