None of this is real. Don’t fuck with your brain, pal, it ain’t worth it.
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How can one stand decades of stagnation without the desire to escape?
I am pretty happy so there is no need to escape.
I admit I am -curious- to try psychedelics but in no hurry. Plenty of things to entertain me in this life.
Agree... I'm nearly unable to fantasize properly (dream or daydream what I want), and it's difficult to describe how it makes me feel, but I would probably use something like "fantasy withdrawal".
I've gotten pretty upset in the past over it and keep wishing I could find some drug to help me experience the things that I can't normally. LSD was the first thing I tried, ketamine will probably be next.
Curse my stupid brain for being stuck in reality. Makes one wonder what the purpose of dreams really is. It could be to try to prevent something like this from arising, but mine don't properly address that need.
It's not aphantasia, not even close. My coping mechanism for most of my life has been roleplay and story writing, which I have no trouble imagining (in fact I can seemingly do it better than most people). It's just that I can't properly dream it, can't experience it using the slots reserved for the normal senses.
I've never gotten a straight answer to whether this is normal or not, but I have heard that similar things can be caused by being autistic (which I am). Some autistics are known to be very literal and aware of reality and only reality. I just don't want to be that because it's painful.
There is so many interesting things to do (let alone watch) to last multiple lifetimes.
> How can one stand decades of stagnation without the desire to escape?
I guess by not being totally unimaginative and boring ? There is no nice way to say it.
Maybe its just your default mode of consciousness that's boring.
Yesterday I had a dream where Elon Musk was making blow-up spaceships like balloons and I met Natalie Portman in a crowd of people and told her I hated Trainspotting, also there were Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at some point but I don't remember why.
One time I had a dream that changed my entire view of reality where I experienced passing into the afterlife as if I were diving into a pool of water and the transition was like touching the surface of the water.
Even during the day time, my brain just produces stuff like this but it's 'behind my eyes', that's where my imagination goes. Sometimes I'll just decide I want the colors to melt, or objects to explode like glass, and I can just do that.
I haven't tried it though, that sounds interesting. I would probably want to use headphones for it though, as otherwise, the volume required to actually bother me would probably fill the entire apartment complex ;D
Plenty of stress or frustration to be had from hobbies too
I do feel lucky that the thing I don't hate and are reasonably good at allows me to get decent job and money
If you ever do decide to try them, it should still be an interesting experience. Personally, I loved to watch what happened to my computer screen during my first LSD trip, and I spent a lot of time obsessing over how pretty it was. It's definitely a different type of experience than learning a skill or solving a puzzle.
By the clinical definition, I don't have depression, because it doesn't impact my enjoyment of or participation in hobbies, and I also don't seem to have any persistent or recurring mood problems.
I'm not sure anyone would call this depression? I certainly wouldn't.
I think I generally mean anhedonia when I talk about depression.
Well, that's the point.
> I think I generally mean anhedonia when I talk about depression.
As far as I know, anhedonia isn't supposed to be very common. Though it can be pretty amazing to look at the outside world if you happen to be one of the unlucky ones who do have it.
I used to do this when I couldn't finish any projects because of ADHD. How did people dedicate all their free time to one thing for so long, and actually finish it to completion? I just didn't understand how it was possible because it just didn't work that way for me.
? My understanding is that it's like, a pretty primary symptom of depression?
> clinical depression, is ... characterized by ... pervasive low mood, low self-esteem, and loss of interest or pleasure in normally enjoyable activities.
(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_depressive_disorder)
At any rate, yeah, it's the primary symptom of depression I experience.
Shrooms, meditation, therapy, and exercise all do help manage it (in roughly that order).