As to what I've gained, which I think on balance is more than I've given up:
- I met the girl who is now my fiance here. When living in the US I was quite certain I would never marry. I'm 41 so I've been around a bit and seen and done a lot, but my perspective changed a lot when I came here. That's pretty specific to me and not something everyone will experience, but I definitely count it as a gain for me.
- If you compare the legal frameworks of Ukraine and the US, US is far superior in terms of freedom. Not only rights reserved to the people, but also limits place on the government. Even in these troubled times, that legal framework restrains a lot of authoritarian ambitions that would otherwise impose on the freedom of US citizens. In Ukraine almost none of those protections exist. To give one example, the government closed some Russian-language television channels because they were furthering Russian interests in Ukraine, and this was within the power of the government to do.
That said, the reality feels very different. Because the rule of law is weaker here (but not so weak that it's a might-makes-right anarchy), I feel a lot more free. You might or might not like that, depending on how much of a rule-follower and law-and-order type you are. I am fiercely independent and deeply resent stupid rules, so for me it's great. To give one example which might scandalize some of you, in the depths of the COVID lockdowns when everything was mandated shutdown by law and masks were required everywhere, I was drinking cocktails with my girlfriend in a packed cocktail bar where you couldn't find a mask for love or money. Make no mistake this was illegal, and if police found out they could shut down the bar, fine the patrons and seriously fine the owner, but this doesn't happen because the owner of the bar is connected and bribes have been paid and the Ukrainian people are ungovernable in the best of times anyway.
- I listed the healthcare system as a sacrifice, and it is, but it's not all bad. It's vastly cheaper than the US, and way more accessible if you're willing to pay just a bit more. I mentioned my heart problem; I had a cardiac MRI with contrast in Kyiv to confirm the diagnosis; it was scheduled the day after my doctor ordered it, and it cost a bit under USD 200. I then had another one done in Miami just to make sure they didn't miss anything; I had US health insurance but it has a high daily co-pay so the MRI cost me something like $900, and was booked a month in advance. The conclusions were the same from both MRIs.
For better or worse, you can buy almost any drugs other than narcotics without a prescription. The process is, a doctor tells you "you should take $DRUG, here I'll write it down for you", you go to a pharmacy, and ask if they have $DRUG. If they do, you give them money and they give you $DRUG. It's great. I can stock up on the meds I take for blood pressure, for example, without asking a doctor's permission. Obviously that's risky, but they never developed the equivalent of our Sullivan Act giving doctors a monopoly on pharmaceuticals. Another fun anecdote, my cardiologist prescribed (again, "prescribed" just means "told me to go buy") phenobarbital, which you can just buy in the pharmacy over the counter.
- I appreciate what I have, and the little things in life, a lot more. Ukraine is a very poor country, although the city center where I live is populated only by the rich and foreigners. Nonetheless, this results in a completely different mentality. I've become much more resilient, able to tolerate disruptions (eg, the elevator isn't working again and I live on the 6th floor; fuck it I'll just hump my shit up the stairs like usual), and much more appreciative of the wealth and comfort I left behind, and may someday return to.
- We're at this moment almost surrounded by Russian combined arms BTGs, but my family and friends back home are freaking out much more than I am. Because this is Ukraine, bad shit happens, it's been happening for a thousand years, we'll make it or we won't. I really admire this mentality, and I've tried to cultivate it in myself. That's not to say there aren't a ton of problems here (there are), and a lot of shitty people (there are), but I'm happier here. When I go back to Miami or DC to visit, I feel like a foreigner. My friends have $1M houses bought on credit and live lives of incredible comfort and ease, and it's hard to believe that was ever me. My fiance is from Donetsk and already fled Russian invaders once, yet she doesn't want to live in the US. "Too many rules", she says. I totally get it now.