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1005 points femfosec | 9 comments | | HN request time: 1.431s | source | bottom
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kjjjjjjjjjjjjjj ◴[] No.26614205[source]
I had an experience at work where a coworker (who is black) shared his experience of being told to "stay in his lane" early on in his career. The insinuation was of course racism, he didn't mention it but it was obvious. Then I and someone else (who are white) shared our exact same experiences.

He told me he felt cut off, etc, even though we were sharing the same experience. If we had something similar happen, how can he definitively attribute that experience to racism? Even if it was, that was not the point of the conversation. We were all sharing our experiences on that topic and no one mentioned race. Why do we need to bend ourselves backwards to make sure all minorities feel comfortable all the time?

The point here is you can't talk to minority groups about anything these days, if you are white.

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1. vmception ◴[] No.26616117[source]
> Why do we need to bend ourselves backwards to make sure all minorities feel comfortable all the time?

> The point here is you can't talk to minority groups about anything these days, if you are white.

You lost me here.

You had one experience with one person and extrapolated that to multiple entire groups.

You should be able to discern how your conversation with that one person was okay and not a "cancelable" offense, and how your comment that I quoted is not okay and could be a "cancelable" offense. Or if that's not the issue, you should be able to see how to have that conversation.

Can you see that I can't tell if you've been pushed to extreme views where you wind up on websites where other people say the same thing and agree with you, or if you all your experiences are segregated like this to the point you would fit a definition of racist?

That was rhetorical.

The point is that your one experience is something fairly predictable but not an area that validates your complaint. There would be a way to continue that conversation, acknowledge the person's experience and how they conflate that with race-based oppression, while also being able to contribute to the conversation.

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2. anm89 ◴[] No.26617348[source]
I'm going to guess the parent has more than one experience
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3. deanCommie ◴[] No.26617844[source]
So, just to make sure I understand. a minority person reports a story: "That's just one example! That's not racism!"

A white person reports this story and says "see, minorities exaggerate." and you are willing to give them the benefit of the doubt that it must have happened to more than one person.

Do you see the problem?

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4. deanCommie ◴[] No.26617850{3}[source]
Do you wonder then maybe then when you hear a black person reporting a story of racism, that's ALSO not the only experience they've ever faced?

That maybe this anecdote was also far from the only scenario they faced?

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5. vmception ◴[] No.26618639{3}[source]
> dealing with

Even the word choice is sus

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6. anm89 ◴[] No.26626649{3}[source]
Whatever you think you are responding to in between the lines of my comment isn't there.

My only comment was regarding the number of experiences of the parent. Nothing less, nothing more.

7. kjjjjjjjjjjjjjj ◴[] No.26626840{4}[source]
1 (usually dealings) a business relation or transaction: they had dealings with an insurance company. • a personal connection or association with someone: my dealings with David consisted of giving him his late-night formula. • the particular way in which someone behaves toward others: fair dealing came naturally to him.
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8. kjjjjjjjjjjjjjj ◴[] No.26626864{4}[source]
And what does that have to do with the conversation we were having? He made it about race himself, and decided to take offense to something imaginary.
9. vmception ◴[] No.26627927{5}[source]
A personal connection with someone, not an entire ethnic group / race of people. I really have doubts that you would say it another way.

“This kind of insensitivity always happens when I deal with white people.”

Whether its accurate or not, this comes across as a chore, as if there is a checkbox of trying that I get around to on occasion. As opposed to just socializing with people.

and the second bullet point doesn't even apply as thats not how you used it.

You should really engage in deeper introspection of your interactions to see why this is a chore for you.