How to Get Kids to Do Chores: Does the Maya Method Work?

How it works in my house:

"Son, do your chores please."

"Yes, sir."

Done.

I've never met anyone who referred to their parent like that who didn't have at least a marginally abusive family life.

It is plainly offensive to address kin as "sir".

It's an authoritarian parenting style, and I don't think anyone really likes it. But there's nothing here to suggest any marginal physical or emotional abuse. I personally know a few traditional Mexican families where the father is addressed as "sir" as a sign of respect but still knows how to care for their children.

Abuse doesn't have to be physical.

I really don't understand the necessity for tactics and reverse psychology etc with children. Attempting to be their friend is a major mistake. The parent is the authority figure. Become friends when they are in their twenties.

There are many cultures where elders are addressed by phrases and gestures of respect. Are those customs also offensive?

this is completely fucking ludicrous. it's a regional custom.

It isn't plain to me. You seem to think your subjective views apply to all humanity. They do not.

Hitting disobedient children is also a regional custom.

If your children respond to orders like trained animals or soldiers, they are doing so because they were conditioned to do so. I am choosing to define that conditioning as abusive because it simply doesn't happen naturally.

I don't think it's as cut-and-dry as this, but it's perfectly fine to have an orderly household based on loving authority that isn't authoritarian. The pearl-clutching responses insinuating child abuse because you have a well-behaved child are sort of what you'd expect from Standard Internet Conscientiousness, but I hope people don't actually take parenting cues from comment threads.

My dictionary defines abuse as "cruel and violent treatment of a person or animal". What is cruel specifically about setting expectations about what needs to be done? There is nothing cruel about requiring kin to call you sir especially when you can show that you deserve their respect.

Really? from what part of Mexico? I'm Mexican and I've never heard someone addressing their father as "sir" (señor) not even "father" (padre) we usually use "dad" (papá), even using "usted" instead of "tu" is not common anymore. But then again Mexico is a really big and diverse country, so there must be zones where that could happen.

I guess I don't see having a loving relationship with one's kids as a matter of "tactics."

Accusing another user of child abuse, or insinuating it, crosses into personal attack. Please don't do that.

You have no evidence that the GP abuses his children, or even that his children literally call him 'sir' (he may have been exaggerating for effect).

https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

It's interesting because in some parts of Northern Mexico, you would think that use of "tú" didn't exist. NO ONE uses it, not even relatives or husbands and wife.

sorry, do you have any actual evidence for the claim that saying 'sir' and child abuse are correlated, or just some prejudicial hunch?

Parents can love their kids without being their buddy. In fact, the buddy thing often comes from the parent's own unmet need for connection, and that's stressful for the kid. Parents and children are not peers.

authority and boundaries are not at odds to a loving relationship with a minor.

Parents and young children are not peers. Parents need to understand that their role changes as the child grows older.