Reddit CEO admits to altering user comments that were critical of him

Probably the most useful piece of advice I ever read (readers digest about 20 years ago) was...

"Never Ruin an Apology With an Excuse."

I read Steve's apology and to be honest it was more dismissive and excusing than it was a real apology. So, it shouldn't surprise you that he isn't being cut the same slack you would expect after a sincere apology.

I don't know. What if he actually buckled under prolonged stress and frustration? What could he have said differently to make that reason more .. reasonable?

Here's a better advice. Never apologize, never surrender. If you apologize the attacks don't relent. Instead they use your apology as an admission of wrongdoing and defeat and try to hang your wrong doings over your head so you succumb to their wishes for irrelevant moral bullshit.

You tell them to roundly go fuck themselves and appeal to the people that agree with you, the opposition's feelings be damned.

I am not discounting how difficult and stressful his situation might be, and I am not saying I would have acted any better...

But, This is exactly my point. His reason doesn't matter. Reasons aren't relevant to apologies.

When you are apologizing, you are admitting wrongdoing...defending yourself in the same breadth is essentially saying you didn't do anything wrong in the first place.

Every time I have to apologize I am tempted to throw in a reason/excuse and everytime I remind myself of that quote and stick with just "I'm sorry" I end up with a better result than when I tag on a reason...

That being said, if you read his post...he actually doesn't apologize at all. He even goes so far as to say he wont do it again (only) because it upset the community team, not because it was wrong to do. He also claims he fixed it. He might of changed back the comments...but he certainly didn't fix anything.

I wouldn't want to have anything to do with person with this kind of mindset. Can i say this is very close to being psychopat?

Have you ever considered piracy? You'd make a wonderful Dread Pirate Roberts.

Did you forget the /s? Otherwise, what you said is simply irrational.

Both advices have merit, however it entirely depends on the context.

The perceived sincerity of apology delivered to someone who is receptive to an apology can indeed be diminished by accompanying it with an excuse.

On the other hand, an apology delivered to someone who is categorically unreceptive to any apology can only be entirely futile. Since there is nothing to gain yet possibly something to lose, the rational course of action would be to not apologize.

Edit: since the latter example seems to be the controversial one, here is a popular scenario in which a significant number of individuals can always be characterized as being "categorically unreceptive to an apology": partisan politics.

It can absolutely be a valid strategy. I have used both, the true apology without excuses, and the FU one.

It depends. Do i really regret what i did? Was it the wrong thing to do? Then i'll apologise, and try to get rid of all the excuses.

Was someone offended and want me to apologise, but when i look at it, i stick to my guns? Then FU strategy, no apology, i'll fight for my point all the way.

Here's better advice. Apologise swiftly for your errors if they impact other people. Don't apologise for anything else

But he didn't "buckle under" anything, he went out of his way and "buckled into" directly modifying Reddit's DB.

It wasn't something you accidentally do when the stress gets too much all the while you really know and believe how wrong it is. They have rules about this.

He obviously didn't believe that. Or that the rules don't apply to him.

> What could he have said differently to make that reason more .. reasonable?

Nothing, probably. He done fucked up, that's it. This is firing-on-the-spot material if he weren't CEO. If they have to keep him for being important as CEO in other ways maybe, at the very least they should take away all his toys and admin powers and uh oh yeah, BAN his reddit account. He can talk announcements through some communication team, but I don't think he should be really touching or modifying anything on the site any more.

Excuses and reasons are pretty irrelevant here. The last part is forgiveness, a dish best served cold :)

If you feel "I'm sorry" is too short, the only reason you can give, is the reasons why it was wrong what you did. As long as you don't leave out major important ones, it can strengthen the apology, showing sincereness and that you really understand.