Well, I wouldn't endorse it. But, since some of your points are often raised...
> It's bad enough that people are downvoted for contrarian opinions
That particular disease doesn't seem to have taken hold here yet. Comments that are downvoted below 1 more often are angry, abusive, trollish, or devoid of content.
> ...but now our comments need to be vetted by the elite HN users...
An "elite" group of, by a rough estimate, 50% of the site's users. A lot of users, anyway.
> This site looks like something made in 1996 (with absolutely no regard for readability)...
This mistakes graphic design for community value. Reddit was also (and still also, by most measures) one of the ugliest sites online.
> ...but the big new upgrade we're getting is a draconian (and wholly unnecessary)...
I think the most common complaint on HN, especially among its longtime users, has been the diminishing quality of comment threads. So this is an update that's dealing with the #1 problem on HN.
> A lot of HN users bitch about Reddit, but they would never implement something this ridiculous since it would kill their community.
On the contrary, some of the Reddit communities with the most recognition for high quality discussions are the ones with the heaviest moderation. /r/askhistorians is consistently great; /r/askscience is another good one.
Some people finally seem to be coming around to the realization that you don't have to hear everybody's opinion on everything to have a worthwhile community.
> Ironically, this comment is precisely the kind of thing that may never receive an "endorsement."
Well, and no offense intended, but hopefully not, since your comment is a good example of the problem this is trying to solve. It's unnecessarily angry.