The most impressive "fuck off contact page" I've seen was from Trade Republic, an investment app. The support page has a QR code to the in-app FAQ and nothing else.
Turns out that a handful of FAQ answers have a chat widget (with a chatbot, of course) that can be coaxed into switching out to a human. But if your topic is not on the FAQ, the answer doesn't have a chat widget, or you don't randomly click around other topics, you'll never find a contact form.
Even the "complaints" email address found in their legally-mandated Impressum just auto-replies with instructions to use the app help. I've since closed my account, but I'm still amazed how a company holding people's money can shield itself so completely from customers.