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My stages of learning to be a socially normal person

(sashachapin.substack.com)
631 points eatitraw | 1 comments | 15 Nov 25 13:24 UTC | HN request time: 0s | source
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donatj ◴[17 Nov 25 20:32 UTC] No.45957949[source]▶
> The other day, someone told me, “I can’t imagine you ever being awkward with people.”

I was telling my therapist of several years recently about being uncomfortable with the number of new people I've had to meet recently.

He seemed surprised that I wasn't excited by it all and said something along the lines of "You seem like a very social person, that seems out of character." It struck me… am I really that good at masking that my therapist didn't realize I am absolutely terrified in near all social situations? I have zero idea how to make small talk with people I haven't known for years.

Working from home since COVID has made my social skills so much worse because I don't get the practice.

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1. xamuel ◴[18 Nov 25 13:09 UTC] No.45965244[source]▶
>I have zero idea how to make small talk with people I haven't known for years.

Here's a trick, it sounds stupid but it works like magic.

Just talk about mundane things that are physically present. Mention the color of the wallpaper. Mention the painting on the wall. Talk about how noisy the room is, or about the food on the plate in front of you. Literally act like you're an image classifier tasked with outputting a text summary of the scene you find yourself in...

If you're the cerebral type like I am, you'll feel afraid these topics will bore the other person. But surprisingly, they don't, if the other person is neurotypical.

Non-weird people are really weird.