Are you stuck in movie logic?

The problem is being told those things (e.g. the examples in TFA from Lala Land, Good Will Hunting, etc) often accomplishes nothing. If anything, being told about such issues, even softly and subtly, will make people recoil, be offended, double down, or deny them.

It's only when push comes to shove, or when you get a bitter reality lesson, that you can understand them, or that you can accept and benefit from being told such advice.

most of her examples are incredibly patronizing and prying. these are tactless overbearing comments, and they can -if ever - only come from a place where there's already a mutual admiration or respectful bond.