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Are you stuck in movie logic?

(usefulfictions.substack.com)
239 points eatitraw | 3 comments | 17 Nov 25 12:06 UTC | HN request time: 0s | source
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xd1936 ◴[17 Nov 25 15:54 UTC] No.45954688[source]▶
This article should be included in every Professional Development program. This is excellent advice.

I live in an area of the midwest United States where nearly _everybody_ is kind, but severely conflict averse... To the point where it becomes difficult to gauge true intentions. Lack of clarity on everybody's priorities make work far more difficult than it needs to be because everyone here are people pleasers who don't know how to say "no" or "I don't like that".

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1. memfd ◴[17 Nov 25 15:59 UTC] No.45954771[source]▶
Sometimes it is not conflict aversion as much as, and maybe i am speaking for myself here, being unsure if the opinion/judgement you have and are about to express is valid or if this is a real bad misread. Maybe conflict aversion is a form of short-sighted kindness
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2. kayodelycaon ◴[17 Nov 25 16:59 UTC] No.45955472[source]▶
I’ve often been the only person in the room willing to confront things directly. (I don’t like doing it but unresolved issues just get worse.)

What a person says about people who are not there is telling.

When it’s not outright malicious, it’s usually fear. It’s something they don’t want to happen that stops them from saying it. (Depending on the situation it may be entirely justified.)

Kindness does exist. There’s plenty of times you don’t want to upset somebody else for their sake.

There’s nothing wrong with conflict avoidance being the default. It only becomes a problem when it stops you from conflict where it’s necessary.

3. lachlan_gray ◴[17 Nov 25 17:03 UTC] No.45955520[source]▶
I think what you're describing is a form of conflict aversion, where the (tiny) conflict is what would clear up your read, or the group's attitude on something, for going forward. Short sighted kindness is a nice way to put it