Are you stuck in movie logic?

People always ask for feedback, but I haven't met anybody that can actually take it.

Most people just don't want to hear, don't want to know. And people know it, so people don't say what they think.

It's about "investment": People spend a lot of time, consciously on purpose or implicitly as a matter of consequence, on making up their plans & preferences.

They've been building up mental velocity to whatever they're going to do.

When you give them a contradictory opinion or advice, you're asking them to discard that investment and abruptly switch directions.

Instead of asking them to drive off their mental road and into the dirt or turn around, offer them something akin to a rail track that they can gradually/subtly switch onto.

Figure out the right "prompt" for them :)

To put it a bit more succinctly - the sunk cost fallacy.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunk_cost#Fallacy_effect

I gave an advice to my friend who is doing a startup. I told him it probably won't work out. But we continue with our own line of thinking because the outcome totally depends on reality. Also, my friend can tack on lot of ifs later on (if only this and this and this had happened, I would be successful) to "prove" himself right. It might be possible that with no decisive outcome favoured by reality, we would both continue to be right in our heads.

A decade or so ago, after an interview that didn't go that well, a candidate reached out asking for feedback. I gave him some algorithms and data structures advice and where to read what and stuff like that and he responded really positively then reached out to me months later to tell me he went and learned all the stuff and got a job at some now-famous startup (Airbnb? I don't remember). I was early in my career back then and was happy for him. Now, if I were to do that I'd be like "Damn, this guy is capable of taking the feedback and actioning on it. I should have somehow found a way to hire him!"

Haha, I hope he's doing well wherever he is :)

In situations like that, sometimes people just want to TRY, whether or not they succeed, even if they expect it to fail.

The act of trying is what matters to them.

Pursuing potential romantic partners or starting software projects are some prime examples :')