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Maybe you’re not trying

(usefulfictions.substack.com)
448 points eatitraw | 1 comments | 16 Nov 25 10:14 UTC | HN request time: 0s | source
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yousif_123123 ◴[16 Nov 25 14:02 UTC] No.45945216[source]▶
I've always noticed that when I'm giving advice to someone or trying to help out, it always feels their problem is easier than whatever problem I have. As someone with some anxiety around things like calling some company to get something done or asking a random stranger for some help in a store, I would gladly do it if it was to help someone else (family member or friend). But when it's for me I find it harder.

I wonder how much psychologically we can be more confident and less anxious when we're doing something for others vs ourselves..

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hiAndrewQuinn ◴[16 Nov 25 17:29 UTC] No.45946776[source]▶
The opposite conclusion is that you are more risk-taking when it comes to dictating the actions of others, because neither their gains nor their losses directly accrue to you. But human beings feel loss aversion more keenly than they desire gain, so this biases the advice you would give others (but not yourself) riskier in general.
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1. quails8mydog ◴[17 Nov 25 08:38 UTC] No.45951850[source]▶
I think this is exactly it. It's easy to see that there's a chance to improve things while ignoring the ways it could make things worse when they won't affect you. Should you quit the job you don't like? "Of course" the friend will say. But then you might just end up with a job you hate more that pays less, or even no job. Whether the outside perspective is helpful probably depends on how much your own perception deviates from reality. Though people do have a tendency to prefer the status quo until things change, so maybe you should always prefer the "change" option when you aren't sure.