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Maybe you’re not trying

(usefulfictions.substack.com)
448 points eatitraw | 1 comments | 16 Nov 25 10:14 UTC | HN request time: 0.245s | source
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yousif_123123 ◴[16 Nov 25 14:02 UTC] No.45945216[source]▶
I've always noticed that when I'm giving advice to someone or trying to help out, it always feels their problem is easier than whatever problem I have. As someone with some anxiety around things like calling some company to get something done or asking a random stranger for some help in a store, I would gladly do it if it was to help someone else (family member or friend). But when it's for me I find it harder.

I wonder how much psychologically we can be more confident and less anxious when we're doing something for others vs ourselves..

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1. agumonkey ◴[17 Nov 25 04:55 UTC] No.45950935[source]▶
It's something I've been wondering about for a long long time. Thanks for bringing up the question. Sometimes my problem-of-the-day is not even that hard but I have near zero drive to finish it, but if anybody comes with an issue, I then feel motivated (up until I realize his/her issue was hard I guess).

I see three dimensions:

- natural pleasure of helping someone

- ignorance about the problem, making it seems easier

- a saturation aspect: my problem has probably something i've been dealing with for days, my brain is full of unanswered questions about it and has no more "space" for it