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My stages of learning to be a socially normal person

(sashachapin.substack.com)
631 points eatitraw | 2 comments | 15 Nov 25 13:24 UTC | HN request time: 0s | source
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0_____0 ◴[15 Nov 25 15:49 UTC] No.45938168[source]▶
I wish I had the drive to do as much work as the author has. Instead I will live more or less where I am now, stably in social mediocrity, perpetually somewhat impedance mismatched with the people around me.
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fragmede ◴[15 Nov 25 17:47 UTC] No.45939162[source]▶
The problem with accounts of life like the author is that it sums up a whole hell of a lot of time into a nice short Saturday morning read. In this case, it sounds like it spans multiple decades. It sounds like you feel socially awkward. You really don't think you can do something about that in thirty years? In November of 2055, you expect you'll be the same bag of awkward you are today? 1,500 weeks or so from now, you don't think you can leave the house or go somewhere multiplayer online to meet up with me people and make mistakes until there's a close enough impedance match that they signal (you) isn't too attenuated or overpowered? This weekend's not over yet, get out there!
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1. 0_____0 ◴[16 Nov 25 19:56 UTC] No.45947903[source]▶
Thanks for the encouragement. I wrote my comment while a bit hungover from a dinner party :) In general I'm OK with how I interact with people.

I think we're all a bit impedance mismatched. The author's experience of having instant intimacy I think is a result of what happens when you spend the time to become completely attuned to other people. He found drawbacks to that skill.

What I really meant is that I don't know if I want that level of interpersonal skill. I'm actually kind of happy bumbling about socially, making jokes that don't quite land, alternating taking up too much space with not taking up enough.

The older I get, the less I desire perfection and power in all domains. I look forward to being a bit of an oaf.

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2. jimbokun ◴[17 Nov 25 20:15 UTC] No.45957764[source]▶
If you are routinely getting invited to dinner parties and drinking and conversing with good friends, your social interaction level is probably just fine.