Maybe you’re not trying

This is an idea that philosophers have played with in countless varieties, perhaps the one closest to the author's wording is Jean-Paul Sartre's concept of bad faith. Faced with anxiety, guilt or overwhelming weight of responsibility, it's often easier to subconsciously sidestep the problem and pretend you don't have a choice, even if you do. This is not even a conscious decision, it's hard to be aware of our own quirks and biases.

I think it makes sense in the same way we blot out our awareness of 90% of the external stimuli -- There is just too much of it.

We have to choose what to 'deal with' and our capacity for that and awareness of it can change over time.

I also think this goes along with the author's concept of you're not trying since you can kind of snap into awareness and then just do those things sometimes.

When it’s adaptive (stepping around or over a pothole that you have neither the power nor incentive to fix), it’s what we do with 95%+ of all our input.

When it’s maladaptive (ignoring a serious red flag in a relationship, or not fixing that pinhole in the roof before it causes major damage in the house!), it leads to other serious problems and long term costs.

The biggest challenge in life is having the capacity to understand when it is going too far in the bad direction, and doing something about it before it tips over into overwhelm/overload.

This resonates with my experiences.

I once broke an ankle badly and were on crutches + stabilizer boot for three months. I could mostly only use one hand if standing (other was holding crutches).

It took me weeks to notice all the things I didn’t do any longer because it was painful and/or difficult. Like just making a cup of coffee in the morning (and I LOVE coffee!).

Activities were aborted before making any conscious decision to not do them. I recognized the same pattern in my father some years later when he was temporarily in a wheelchair.

Sounds to me like this "bad faith" mechanism has been weaponized, and is literally how the public is controlled in the United States, maintained in a state of apathy towards the violation of everything the nation claims as a core value.

Paradoxically some things with human bodies work like that: Back pain? One of the best ways of usually getting rid of it is using your back more and building muscle.

I once worked with a guy who was a grandmaster at finding rational explainations of why they needed to do the thing that clearly was bad for them. He was overweight, but every time he ate both extremely unhealthy and much next to us he would explain how his body needs that because he would get a bad mood etc. His excuse not to make sports was some sports accident he had 30 years ago as a 18 years old (a medical condition I happened to knew very well because my marathon-running brother had it as well). For every other sport he also had some excuse, be it cost, traffic, weather, other people doing it being douchebags or whatever. This went all the way to making up a medical condition that gave him a excuse why he cannot visit his estranged child.

This guy had an absolutely phenomenal skill level when it came to self deception. And it only became better when his overweight led to a medical condition and his doctor hammered home that he is going to die if he continues on at this path.

That word is having a moment, it seems.

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=weaponized

It's a word people use now to attack things that are supposed to be core values, like free speech. The way I use it is the way it ought to be used, the way you use it is "weaponized."

https://www.google.com/search?q=weaponized+free+speech

That's almost concerning. I wonder if it'd be realistic to

1. put up a whiteboard somewhere

2. observe with some regularity what your routines are right now (non-judgmentally)

3. write them down (descriptively, not prescriptively)

4. update over time

Then you'd get the chance to notice your routines changing.

Yes, because I don't like to lay bare all the details of my friends online. Contrary to what my post may have sounded like to you this person is my friend and I stayed with them for more than a decade always in support to help them get better.

And spoiler: they did get better, took up a sport and look healthier than at any point since I have known them.

As someone who grew up with multiple disabled people I am very aware of the pitfalls here, but you were the one who assumed knowledge of details I did not mention.