HP SitePrint

Take your pick:

If you give it a big job, it freezes halfway and just spins its wheels as fast as it can until you unplug it.

It refuses to paint yellow lines when it's out of blue paint.

It asks you for feedback after doing any and every job.

It doesn't have good Linux support.

It has no off button. The only modes are printing, standby at half power, or unplugged.

When you want to just print a small blue square on the floor, it makes xxxjuukkktsssssruuuuukkkttt sounds for 5 minutes, pauses for another 2, zooms at max speed to the location on the floor, pauses for 10 seconds, and begins doing the actual job it was designed to do, but does it in a shade of blueish brown.

+ If your subscription expires while it's printing, it freezes and you have to carry it back home.

epic slashdot post fellow redditor. here, have this thinkgeek tshirt that says "no i will not fix your printer". le epic

...printing is cloud based and subscription only...

Edit: (I was joking and it's really cloud based, omfg)

It gets half-way through the job, but runs out of paint. You load the new paint but instead of continuing, it fills the entire site with a big test print that uses 10% of the paint.

Randomly, it'll run a head cleaning cycle that involves spraying large amounts of paint into the neighbour's driveway before cleaning itself on their lawn.

That sounds just like my HP printer at home, I wonder if it's the same internals.

Just need to add that after being on for a day you get a blue screen with some hex numbers on it.

If it's been on for less than a day, you have to power cycle it for it to connect to apple devices.

Finally if you power cycle it, it complains about being power cycled incorrectly and does nothing for 10 minutes.

Seems like a missed opportunity. Why not fill a built in sponge with that paint instead, and when the sponge is fully saturated it's time to throw out the whole machine and buy another one?

Lets not leave the Service people out, they want to get a bonus this year, too.

So make the sponge replaceable, but only with a field maintenance call-out. The sponge unit will have an NFC chip in it that if it's removed will lock the unit out until a Technician access code is entered to restore the unit.

We can sell it as a whole periodic maintenance thing - give the service guy a can of air-duster and a roll of paper towel to wipe the thing off.

(I feel dirty even writing this because I'm sure someone is taking notes and thinking these are great ideas)