How to write in Cuneiform

Dang. They lead by saying they'll translate your short message. And their marketing image shows the message "Girl, are you a beaver? Cuz daaaammmm!"

I was really looking forward to seeing how that got translated into something other than English.

But in the fine print, they say this instead:

> We take the letters from your message and transliterate by syllable, as nearly as we can, into [Old Persian] cuneiform.

Old Persian cuneiform was designed from scratch and is essentially an alphabet. It has almost nothing in common with Sumerian Cuneiform, which is what most people think of if they refer to "cuneiform".

I thought it was a strange choice, not because I think anyone ordering from that site has an opinion on the merits of different types of cuneiform, but because I think the Old Persian glyphs are much simpler and will therefore appear less ornamental than e.g. Akkadian would.

Those who do have an opinion of the merits of different types of cuneiform are ordering custom items from Jeremiah Peterson.

The choice of Old Persian cuneiform is lazy, much like those Egyptian cartouche name necklaces that use a hieroglyphic alphabet rather than even attempting to write out a name as ancient Egyptians would.