Security is rarely convenient. Since the early OS X days, Apple seems to be willing to do things the more secure way even if it's a bit of a hassle. Seems to be paying off for them.
This is the same reason why Apple has lost the education market to Chromebooks.
Apple sells remote management software* if you don't want to buy your own KVM solution, it's $79.99 but given that there are no per-user limits and it has been continually updated for ~20 years, I'd say it's often overlooked in discussions of remotely managing Macs.
If you want a free solution, Tahoe w/ ssh FileVault unlock makes using a Mac as a server more useful than ever with a non-Apple VNC product of your choice.
* Mac App Store link: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/apple-remote-desktop/id4099073...