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461 points LaurenSerino | 5 comments | | HN request time: 0.001s | source
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graemep ◴[] No.45290469[source]
There is a problem with rigid medical definitions. There is a huge difference between the author of this, a young pregnant woman losing her husband, and say, something like a middle aged person losing an elderly parent (as I did earlier this year). Of course it will take her far longer to recover (if at all).

I would guess her grief is not "disordered" though. As she says she functions - she works, she looks after her child, she looks after herself.

> We medicalize grief because we fear it.

Absolutely right. There is a certain cowardice in how we deal with death in the contemporary west.

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righthand ◴[] No.45290594[source]
In the west we’re trained to believe that if something happens there should be some sort of tangible reward on the other end, no matter how minute. Death takes and leaves nothing tangible and it’s the absence that drives us crazy. Since we’re trained this way we seek out some solution with the other trained aspect, spending money. Which in turn only temporarily numbs the grief until you deal with it.

We also stigmatize mental health care in the west, telling people to “suck it up” or “get over it”. So our money spending usually doesn’t direct us to a more helpful path.

I often wonder how dealing with death compares to the east where ancestors are commonly remembered, contemplated, and revered.

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Rooster61 ◴[] No.45290681[source]
> I often wonder how dealing with death compares to the east where ancestors are commonly remembered, contemplated, and revered.

In what way is this not western as well? Implying that western culture does not remember, contemplate, and revere those that have gone before us is a bad take.

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1. xyzelement ◴[] No.45290802{3}[source]
I agree with you on the western religious tradition, but I think it's less true for the secular west today.

With ample exceptions of course, a stereotypical "secular" person thinks of their ancestors as racist people that lived in an irrelevant time, and doesn't feel some sort of connection to them, or an obligation to continue them. So I think the poster you're replying to is kinda correct from a today point of view.

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2. watwut ◴[] No.45290875[source]
Your made up straw man secular person is, frankly, ridiculous. Like, we all get it, conservative Christians hate the rest of us and look down on us. Duh.
3. SketchySeaBeast ◴[] No.45290879[source]
> a typical "secular" person thinks of their ancestors as racist people that lived in an irrelevant time,

I think you missed the "stereo" in front of your "typical".

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4. xyzelement ◴[] No.45290981[source]
I went ahead and added that "stereo" to my comment. I think you're right, but I also think that stereotype is grounded in reality with a lot of empirical observation. So yes, not exclusive but certainly common.
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5. SketchySeaBeast ◴[] No.45291322{3}[source]
Well, as a secular individual whose friend group is mostly secular people, I haven't see people express such black and white opinions, but I'm guessing we move in different circles. As far as observation is concerned, we tend to see what we want to see, don't we?