Why We Spiral | slacker news

I think it's useful to try to always assume the best from others:

  - If they aren't being friendly this will irritate them in a way they cannot object to too openly.
  - If they are friendly it will avoid damage and even start an upward spiral.

When you're not feeling good enough it's sometimes helpful to remember that even people who create negative impacts often get into positions of power and stay there for one reason or another. i.e if they can do something very badly then why are you so worried about whether you are worthy?

Finally, remember that lots of people feel like you - so try to do little things that start them on an upward spiral. The more you do this for other people, the more they will be glad to see you.

> The more you do this for other people, the more they will be glad to see you.

That's not a given. That's the rational response on their end, but not only is no one perfectly rational, but some people are very, very irrational.

It can sometimes[1][2] be the case that the best option is to be among those who don't attract any attention at all.

Separately:

The spiraling described in this post is worth consideration, but equally worthy are the odd disparities in professional life (or life in general) and the negative consequences that aren't the result of internal forces like paralyzing self-doubt.

Consider an article that starts just like this one, except it focuses on the different consequences experienced by Dawn who is regularly forgiven for things like tardiness and mistakes in her work in contrast to more severe outcomes for Hila, who after arriving late—perhaps for the first time, even—is perceived to be fucking up because that's in her irresponsible nature[3]—even if a sober, objective analysis would reveal that Hila is actually exceeding the expectations one would have for any employee (and her transgressions are well behind the line of courtesy that is extended to Dawn)—for no other reason than Hila being younger or newer to the company.

This can result in a similar spiral of defeat, but it's a kind of defeat by external forces rather than self-defeat.

1. Depending on your environment/experience, you could even say "very often"