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Why We Spiral

(behavioralscientist.org)
318 points gmays | 1 comments | 14 Sep 25 14:46 UTC | HN request time: 0.205s | source
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t43562 ◴[14 Sep 25 15:58 UTC] No.45240817[source]▶
I think it's useful to try to always assume the best from others:

  - If they aren't being friendly this will irritate them in a way they cannot object to too openly.
  - If they are friendly it will avoid damage and even start an upward spiral.
When you're not feeling good enough it's sometimes helpful to remember that even people who create negative impacts often get into positions of power and stay there for one reason or another. i.e if they can do something very badly then why are you so worried about whether you are worthy?

Finally, remember that lots of people feel like you - so try to do little things that start them on an upward spiral. The more you do this for other people, the more they will be glad to see you.

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1. b_e_n_t_o_n ◴[14 Sep 25 19:16 UTC] No.45242466[source]▶
In general it seems like you should assume the outcome you want, so you behave in a way that's conducive to that outcome manifesting itself. If you always assume the worst, then you might protect yourself from rejection but you end up pushing people away.

So assuming someone is friendly even if they aren't is a better strategy than assuming everyone dislikes you.