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Why We Spiral

(behavioralscientist.org)
318 points gmays | 1 comments | | HN request time: 0.342s | source
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t43562 ◴[] No.45240817[source]
I think it's useful to try to always assume the best from others:

  - If they aren't being friendly this will irritate them in a way they cannot object to too openly.
  - If they are friendly it will avoid damage and even start an upward spiral.
When you're not feeling good enough it's sometimes helpful to remember that even people who create negative impacts often get into positions of power and stay there for one reason or another. i.e if they can do something very badly then why are you so worried about whether you are worthy?

Finally, remember that lots of people feel like you - so try to do little things that start them on an upward spiral. The more you do this for other people, the more they will be glad to see you.

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1. nuancebydefault ◴[] No.45241614[source]
Indeed, the default should be to assume the best intentions of people. Also, people can have a bad day and be snarky. Next meeting they might as well be friendly.

Staying positive and not letting (potential) negative feedback derail you, works like magic in the long run.

If someone is really picking on you, or they genuinely disapprove of your work, you will find out in due time.