Next.js is infuriating

I 100% agree. I've ran into the same issues, and I would never use Next.js for anything, and I will encourage every team at work to use something else.

In general Next.js has so many layers of abstraction that 99.9999% of projects don't need. And the ones that do are probably better off building a bespoke solution from lower level parts.

Next.js is easily the worst technology I've ever used.

What did you use instead?

People will complain about Next but there is no perfect solution. The complexity driving the problems with Next materialize in other forms elsewhere. Remix is a competitive option with its own quirks. You can always roll your own with Vite, Tanstack router, etc. but then of course you're manually implementing the same stuff albeit better suited to your needs. Which isn't necessarily bad but it's not the right choice for everyone.