Even if you're one of the crazy people who thinks that's the sane default, the value from analysing and choosing a better ordering rule for this key type is enormous and when you do that analysis your answer is going to be acquire-release and only for some edge cases, in many places the relaxed atomic ordering is fine.
I don't believe that shared_ptr uses seq-cst because I can just look at the source code, and I know that inc ref is relaxed and dec ref is acq-rel, as they should be.
However, none of this makes a difference on x86, where RMW atomic operations all lower to the same instructions (like LOCK ADD). Loads also do not care about memory order, and stores sometimes do, and that was what my comment was about.
So hence the sequentially consistent ordering doesn't come into the picture.
And yeah, no, you don't get the sequentially consistent ordering for free on x86. x86 has the total store order, but firstly that's not quite enough to deliver sequentially consistent semantics in the machine on its own and then also the compiler has barriers during optimisation and those are impacted too. So if you insist on this ordering (which to be clear again you almost never should, the fact it's the default in C++ is IMO a mistake) it does make a difference on x86.