I’m always in awe of characters like the author. When they recount their lives, it feels like watching someone narrate a mythological curse. Just enough introspection to map the pattern of their own compulsion and inevitable failure, yet not quite enough to grasp what would actually sever the loop and set them free.
On one hand, she sees with piercing clarity her inability to take hints, read the room, or navigate social subtext. On the other, she holds to this undeniable conviction that rejection itself will eventually sculpt her into something new, rather than seeing it as a painful signal to do the reshaping herself.
That conviction fascinates me. Where does it come from? An unshakeable sense of justice? A craving for recognition and boundaries that she cannot receive from other people? Or some deeper? Has the author always behaved like this or are there mile markers in the development of her beliefs?
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