I know part of it is on me. I need to let go, unsubscribe aggressively, etc... but this is... work?
Im not a regular iOS user, but on it I have feeeeds which actually seem to have a sane personal "algorithm" of sorts that doesn't force ALL feeds items onto me, and also isn't purely chronological.
More readers should have this
There are various local-first phone apps, desktop apps, and self-hostable apps that are good, completely free and have comprehensive features.
There are some what I would consider bait and switch options like Flipboard and Feedly that pretend to care about RSS but layer on features unrelated to the protocol. I think you can find one that works for you.
The problem with RSS right now is not, imo, the lack of tools to do the reading, thankfully. It's more that the major vote of legitimacy previously extended by Google was revoked and prompted an unwinding from RSS as a universal form of content distribution basically across the whole internet.
Adding RSS feeds to it feels kinda clunky though.