Postgres LISTEN/NOTIFY does not scale

I'd be interested as to how dumb-ol' polling would compare here (the FOR UPDATE SKIP LOCKED method https://leontrolski.github.io/postgres-as-queue.html). One day I will set up some benchmarks as this is the kind of thing people argue about a lot without much evidence either way.

Wasn't aware of this AccessExclusiveLock behaviour - a reminder (and shameless plug 2) of how Postgres locks interact: https://leontrolski.github.io/pglockpy.html

Polling is the way to go, but it's also very tricky to get right. In particular, it's non-trivial to make a reliable queue that's also fast when transactions are held open and vacuum isn't able to clean tuples. E.g. "get the first available tuple" might have to skip over 1000s of dead tuples.

Holding transactions open is an anti-pattern for sure, but it's occasionally useful. E.g. pg_repack keeps a transaction open while it runs, and I believe vacuum also holds an open transaction part of the time too. It's also nice if your database doesn't melt whenever this happens on accident.