Postgres LISTEN/NOTIFY does not scale

If I understood correctly, the global lock is so that notify events are emitted in order. Would it make sense to have a variant that doesn't make this ordering guarantee if you don't care about it, so that you can "notify" within transactions without locking the whole thing?

possibly, but i think at that point it would make more sense to move the business logic outside of the database (you can wait for a successful commit before triggering an external process via the originating app, or monitor the WAL with an external pub/sub system, or something else more clever than i can think of).