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Nobody has a personality anymore: we are products with labels

(www.freyaindia.co.uk)
540 points drankl | 5 comments | 06 Jul 25 22:16 UTC | HN request time: 0.989s | source
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parpfish ◴[07 Jul 25 01:05 UTC] No.44485690[source]▶
Decades ago in my first abnormal psych course, the prof warned us that there was an almost iron-clad law that students will immediately start self diagnosing themselves with “weak” versions of every disorder we learn about. In my years since then, it has absolutely held true and now is supercharged by a whole industry of TikTok self-diagnoses.

But there are a few things we can learn from this:

- if you give people the chance to place a label on themselves that makes them feel unique, they’ll take it.

- if you give people the chance to place a label on themselves to give a name/form to a problem, they’ll take it.

- most mental disorders are an issue of degree and not something qualitatively different from a typical experience. People should use this to gain greater empathy for those who struggle.

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Aurornis ◴[07 Jul 25 01:52 UTC] No.44485973[source]▶
> - if you give people the chance to place a label on themselves to give a name/form to a problem, they’ll take it.

This one is widespread among the young people I’ve worked with recently. It’s remarkable how I can identify the current TikTok self diagnosis trends without ever watching TikTok.

There’s a widespread belief that once you put a label on a problem, other people are not allowed to criticize you for it. Many young people lean into this and label everything as a defensive tactic.

A while ago, one of the trends was “time blindness”. People who were chronically late, missed meetings, or failed to manage their time would see TikToks about “time blindness” as if it was a medical condition, and self-diagnose as having that.

It was bizarre to suddenly have people missing scheduled events and then casually informing me that they had time blindness, as if that made it okay. Once they had a label for a condition, they felt like they had a license to escape accountability.

The most frustrating part was that the people who self-diagnosed as having “time blindness” universally got worse at being on time. Once they had transformed the personal problem into a labeled condition, they didn’t feel as obligated to do anything about it.

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Walf ◴[07 Jul 25 03:20 UTC] No.44486445[source]▶
I'm sure there are those who self-diagnose without really suffering from a condition, but you do realise time blindness is a real issue, right?

https://www.simplypsychology.org/adhd-time-blindness.html

I don't watch TikTok videos, I don't use Instagram, but I have been plagued by these symptoms my entire life, and don't really care about others opinions on it. You probably don't have it if those symptoms don't resonate with you, but there are plenty of people who genuinely struggle, and there's likely some overlap with those who have undiagnosed ADHD.

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nomdep ◴[07 Jul 25 04:07 UTC] No.44486670[source]▶
If you know you have time blindness and you still arrive late it is worse, because you knew it will happen and did nothing to prevent it
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Walf ◴[07 Jul 25 04:44 UTC] No.44486835[source]▶
Sorry, but you clearly have no idea what it's like to actually deal with this, at all. If I try to be on time to things, I will be stupidly early, or still think I have time to do tasks A & B before doing C, because they invariably take more or less time than I estimate. Or I start doing tasks X & Y, because I'm easily distracted, you know because it's a deficit in attention. Don't trivialise what you don't understand.

Your advice is as ignorant as saying 'just do more fun things' to someone with depression.

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nradov ◴[07 Jul 25 07:43 UTC] No.44487702[source]▶
Do or do not, there is no "try". If you know you have to leave home at 7:00 AM to avoid being late then just set an alarm at that time. When it goes off then walk out the door, even if you're in the middle of some other task. Like if you're brewing coffee then just unplug the machine and leave: no coffee for you today. Don't allow yourself the opportunity to get distracted. Simple.
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Walf[dead post] ◴[07 Jul 25 08:00 UTC] No.44487794[source]▶
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1. nradov ◴[07 Jul 25 09:16 UTC] No.44488303[source]▶
You're really missing the point. I'm trying to help by giving you practical, actionable advice which has worked well for other people. When it's time to leave, take the kid out the door even if that means carrying them out in the middle of a meltdown. This teaches children discipline and makes them understand that they can't get their own way by acting like spoiled brats.
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2. karohalik ◴[07 Jul 25 14:50 UTC] No.44490987[source]▶
Did this person ask for the advice? Also, treating children without empathy, like objects, is not the solution to the problem.
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3. nradov ◴[07 Jul 25 16:30 UTC] No.44492015[source]▶
Demonstrating empathy is great but it's not a valid reason to tolerate misbehavior. And being on time for school is more important.
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4. karohalik ◴[07 Jul 25 17:10 UTC] No.44492440{3}[source]▶
No one is saying that structure or boundaries aren’t important. Of course they are. But what is being challenged here is the assumption that a meltdown = misbehavior. Sometimes it is. But often what looks like “acting out” is actually communication. Discomfort, overstimulation, unmet needs, not manipulation.

Teaching kids discipline without empathy doesn't create resilience. It creates shame, masking, and fear of expressing emotions. And yeah, being on time matters. But so does understanding why the kid is melting down in the first place, especially if it’s a recurring thing. Otherwise, you’re just dragging a panicked, overwhelmed human out the door like a bag of potatoes and calling it a parenting win.

5. whamlastxmas ◴[08 Jul 25 13:53 UTC] No.44499995[source]▶
the problem is that ADHD impacts every single action of every single day for the rest of your life with no cure. yes you've fixed the coffee situation, but there are literally 50 other things i have to do every morning, sometimes they're things unique to that morning, and while i work really hard to be mindful of creating structure in my life to help cope with severe ADHD, it's not reasonable to have 50 separate techniques for the 50 things i have to do every morning and follow all of them perfectly or even have all of them perfectly setup.

there is massive, massive emotional fatigue to the amount of effort that getting through a day with ADHD entails, and this is on top of other things like having a ton of sensory sensitivity where literally just being around bright lights, is being bright outside, the sound of traffic, lawn mowers, leaf blowers, car horns, a door shutting loudly, someone clinking dishes while serving coffee, all cause emotional reactions in me that are intense enough for me to physically cringe. i literally cried while driving home a week ago at night because the oncoming car headlights are so bright the entire drive and i have to drive with one arm stretched out to block them from my view and etc etc

my brain is not an easy place to live. i am cognitively capable of understanding what technique can help with what issues. the problem is both recognizing every possible way my adhd can fuck things up and the amount of mental and emotional drain it is to have to consider everything all the time lest something fall between the cracks.