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Are we the baddies?

(geohot.github.io)
696 points AndrewSwift | 1 comments | | HN request time: 0.203s | source
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protocolture ◴[] No.44478596[source]
>But eventually the market will fix this, right? People will feel sick of being manipulated and move elsewhere?

You can literally go outside and talk to people. There's no moat around dating apps. Human beings continue to exist in meatspace. I am yet to see a dating app contract that prevents you from being casually approached by strangers. Heck matchmakers still exist.

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seydor ◴[] No.44478658[source]
> You can literally go outside and talk to people.

You can't . If you talk to modern city people the way you casually said 'hi' to strangers in the 90s , at best you 'll end up in a tiktok branded as a creepy person

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Klonoar ◴[] No.44478865[source]
No? Just... don't be creepy.

I've done this a few times over the last few days alone (in Seattle no less, a city infamous for being antisocial - though I'm willing to accept some were tourists for the 4th).

IME, people are actually starved for human interaction.

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bragh ◴[] No.44478916[source]
It makes no sense to have a high risk of getting blasted all over local Facebook groups/Instagram/Tiktok for daring to approach while being ugly when they can use dating apps for zero risk. And if dating apps feel expensive to use, then there is Photofeeler also to validate your attractiveness.
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Klonoar ◴[] No.44479045[source]
You are seriously overthinking this shit.
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const_cast ◴[] No.44483551[source]
They are, but they're correct that attitudes have changed.

People largely do not want to be approached in public and actively take steps to make sure it doesn't happen. Simple things like not making eye contact, or wearing headphones everywhere.

The reason men don't approach women in public anymore isn't some crazy conspiracy or anything - it's because women have told them to stop. Both implicitly through behavior and body language, and explicitly by saying "do not approach us in public".

It's complicated, because a lot of men do not know how to be normal or respectful. So who can blame women for being wary? But, the result now is that if you do choose that approach, you're coming in with an implicit bias against that behavior. You sort of have to work harder to overcome that bias, and for a lot of situations you just won't. Which is fine, just try again later, but that's what's going on.

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1. protocolture ◴[] No.44485209[source]
>it's because women have told them to stop. Both implicitly through behavior and body language, and explicitly by saying "do not approach us in public".

Its really situational. And definitely difficult to always identify. But there are avenues. I always found bars and clubs to be the worst way to approach women.

>actively take steps to make sure it doesn't happen

I used to do door to door sales, very briefly. And I was amazed at the fact that, risking fines, my coworkers would approach houses on the government no knock register, and reliably make sales. Not advocating for breach of consent. But there are multiple ways to "meet" someone that don't require a cold open at a bar when they have their headphones in. I always tell other men to go volunteer for a local club or charity. Or take a pottery class or something.