First thing to do is get used to a much lower salary. Mostly kidding but channeling how often I see sentiments online of people saying they want to leave tech and then balk at the salaries normal people have.
replies(3):
sell my house, put my kids in a different school district, be terrified about health insurance
if I fail I'd have to go back into tech and would have uprooted everything in a way that's probably irreversible
the thing is… if you and your spouse get a 25% bump in salary right now, a year or so from now it is likely you’d write the exact same comment as this one above even though a year ago you were in the same boat and obviously managed beautifully without the extra 25%… :)
> I want to significant change, but not to my income!
I realize that life is expensive, but if you feel stuck, not needing a high salary gives you more options. It's often easier to control spending than income.
That's not it. The issue is (as the GGP mentions) irreversibility (and, I'd add, unpredictability). When you go for a less-paying job, two things are sure: (1) it'll be nearly impossible to return to the previous (better paying) job, if shit hits the fan, (2) the new job will pay a lot less than you are used to (and what your entire current way of living is based upon) from day 1. Whereas, what you desire in return for this, is totally unpredictable: the new job might or might not give you the meaning and inspiration you are seeking; and you'll only learn the outcome months later.
Thus, the negatives are immediate and certain, while the positives are delayed and uncertain. It's a totally irrational and fiscally irresponsible choice.
Of course, sometimes you do have to make that choice; for example when you get psychosomatic symptoms from the stress and the violation of your core identity at work. But then -- let's be clear about it -- the decision does not come from "carefully weighing the pros and cons"; you do it (literally) to survive.
See the author's story <https://write.as/conjure-utopia/the-verbose-story-of-how-i-l...>:
> I almost died [...] to this day I still suffer from chronic issues. This whole experience forced me to slow down, accept my limits, and reframe my plans for the future. It was very liberating: I was forced to quit the rat race [...] I started to appreciate the freedom that comes from restrictions.
You don't implement such life-uprooting changes, you don't take such risks until/unless you have no other way to survive. These changes are inaccessible through reasoning.