A 37-year-old wanting to learn computer science

I don't mean to be a jerk, but I'm having trouble figuring out what the point of the post or of posting the post here is. Are you asking for advice? Feedback? Suggestions? Criticism? Support? The only question your post asks is "but who am I really?"

To be honest, what I hear in the paragraphs that follow is less a description of yourself than the pronouncement that you are capable, curious, and driven to learn more, that you're excited and motivated by the breadth and depth of tech -- that there's so much to learn and so much to study and you want to know all of it. That's a wonderful starting point, but it also sounds as though you are or will be prone to a kind of paralysis.

You have a list of projects you want to work on. This is good. Study will give you a foundation (personally, I found DS&A, once I approached it methodically and patiently, by far the funnest part of learning programming and CS, so projects aren't the only way), but building will give you something to put on top of it, figuratively speaking.

Just keep on mind that you're probably not going to build these things from first principles, so you're probably not going to learn operating systems, networking, or programming languages. Rather, your going to develop skill in specific tools rely onthose technologies. That's fine. But if you really do want to dig very specifically into the subjects and technologies themselves, then you needto be aware that building the products or projects you've described isn't going to give you the progress you seem to want.

If you really do want to know networking, don't build a website; implement, I don't know, telnet or tcp/ip from scratch after reading the spec. If you really want to know operating systems, build one. If you want to understand programming languages, DS&A, and algorithmic analysis, familiarize yourself with some instruction sets; learn discrete math; learn what lambda calcus is and how it's used.

> Adult ADHD

I have severe ADHD. I could not survive in the tech world without treatment and medication. YMMV, but you should get treatment if you haven't already. Last time I checked, there was essentially no empirical evidence supporting the coping strategies so many people advocate. Medication is the one, and the only, proven treatment for the condition.

> I have severe ADHD. I could not survive in the tech world without treatment and medication. YMMV, but you should get treatment if you haven't already.

I won't speak for OP, but from what I've been able to figure out locally, it's quite difficult (will take years and is largely down to chance, and anything you might to do help the process along is inhibited by the condition itself) to even get a diagnosis unless you're quite wealthy and willing to spend a chunk of it.

That's a good point. The delay varies wildly from place to place. In the US, if you have good medical coverage, you can get a diagnosis and start treatment in a month or two. In Western Europe -- partly because of the nature of their medical system but also because of their much greater cultural skepticism towards medication -- the wait can indeed be years. This partly kept me from accepting a job I badly wanted in Copenhagen.

Even when you have the diagnosis and medication, getting effective treatment can by itself take years. The person taking the medication needs to understand its effects and be able to tell the doctor, in a manner that makes medical sense, "no, this doesn't work" when it doesn't work. I, for instance, suffer from overwhelming bouts of uncontrollable rage when I take Ritalin. The resulting damage has never been inflicted directly on the people around me, but it has strained or broken relationships and cost me thousands of dollars, at times when those costs were particularly onerous. One might expect this side effect to be immediately obvious, but it wasn't. I figured it out years after it started.

In turn, I had to notice for myself (a) that amphetamine salts are not the same thing as Adderall and (b) that I was incapable of functioning when I was taking them. I then (c) had to bring this up with my doctor, and (d) be able to point out that I had been fine six months prior, when I was taking brand-name Adderall XR (fortunately, because I have severe ADHD, I hadn't disposed of old rx bottles). She then discovered that my monthly urinalysis results had shown, since my pharmacy switched me to amphetamine salts, that I was excreting none of the expected amphetamine metabolites. As far as the urinalysis was concerned, I wasn't taking an amphetamine at all. ("Yes, dr, I have been taking the drug daily. No, I haven't been selling it.") So she then had all the information she needed in order to make the judgment that I needed a different drug.

Effective treatment of psychiatric conditions, in other words, can depend to a great extent on the ability of the patient to recognize, evaluate, and demand effective treatment. Novice patients rarely know how to do that.